Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Older Men

I guess I'm what one would consider an older man now. I'm 43, I'm married to a woman 16 years my junior and I am normally physically attracted to younger women-I still look like I'm in my late 20's, early 30's and often find that women in their 30's look older than me. I once met a 35 year old woman at a concert. We exchanged numbers and, at a later date met for coffee. When she asked my age I told her and was forced to show ID because she didn't believe me. I admit she looked older than me, but I now assume that if a woman looks about my age, she's probably about 5-10 years younger. She told me that she was prepared to teach this young boy right out of college a thing or two. After I proved I was older than her, she kept looking at me like I was that Wayans brother in Little Man.

Last Friday I met a young lady about 25. She too assumed I was around her age. She's asked me 3 times since meeting me how old I am. I don't know if it's disbelief or if this woman has been hit in the head too many times and has lost her short-termed memory. I have to admit that it is a very awkward situation, but I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm not physically attracted to women who haven't aged well and I'm not mentally attracted to younger girls. My life has always been faced with these types of dilemmas.

Nowadays if you're a man my age and you pursue anyone south of 35 you're considered a dirty old man-UNLESS you've got Trump money-and then women don't want to judge you because one day they might just want to hook up with a rich older guy one-no sense in preempting those options. But if you make below $1 million a year, well you're a cradle robber. Never once do you hear anything about Russell Simmons and his child bride, Donald Trump and his baby (literally), Tom Cruise and his pre-teenie princess. Hell if you're a rich man, you can even marry your adopted daughter when she becomes of age (Woody Allen anyone). With that kind of money, age is a number alright, but it's measured in millions. You never hear women complain about these pairings because, hell, just about any 20-something woman would gladly jump at the chance to hook up with The Don (Trump that is). And why is it that no one EVER made a peep about 27 year old Ashton hooking up with 42 year old Demi? Because when a woman is in the dawn of her younger years she wants to reserve the right to reach back and grab herself a boy toy if she feels the urge to do so. But let man of meager earnings attempt the same thing and he's labelled all sorts of perverted things.

We guys just sit back and take all of this crap from women. In a previous post, I tackled the issue of who is more honest, men or women. One example I gave was how Anna Nicole hooked up with J. Howard and how rare it is you find a man who would hook up with an octogenarian in a wheelchair and diapers for financial gain. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but it's easier for a woman to pull off because the great likelihood is Old J. Howard couldn't get it up anyway. But a woman has an opening that is accessible no matter what her age is-so if she's holding the purse strings, you just might have to stick in if you want that brand-new, fire-engine red Ferrarri at the dealership. The thought is repulsive.

I'm at one of those weird places in life that I never considered: I'm on the brink of divorce and the women that I'm physically attracted to have the minds of mush, and the women I am mentally attracted to look like mush-old, wrinkled, mush. And those fading features are a lot easier to stomach when A. you were there when they were in their prime, and B. you had the pleasure (or pain) of watching them fade over the years. But when you're hit with that shit all at once, it's worse than the sticker shock on that brand-new, fire-engine red Ferrarri.

I guess I'll work my way through it, whatever the outcome. The thought of dating at this age is daunting. Who wants to go through that getting to know you stage? I remember the excitement of Friday night and the opportunity to go and meet new chicks, but now I am at the age where, if I don't know you already, I'm not really accepting new applications. And isn't it true that all the good women are all taken at this age? What's left are those women who thought they were too hot to hook up and now find that the their alluring features are beginning to give way to gravity and it won't be long before catching a cold ass naked outdoors in the middle of flu season proves difficult. Or worse yet, those women who could never truly hook up in the first place. Now those you really need to watch out for, because they have a habit of finding a guy and holding him responsible for all of the rejection they experienced in their pasts. Not to mention the fact that they probably blew a lot of dicks in their days just to feel a physical connection. Sometimes I think I think too much.

Whatever happens, I guess at some point I won't give a fuck anymore-and even that frightens me.


The Prince of Know Where?

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Sometimes We Disappoint Me

I was visiting a couple of friends today and we were working on tracks. One of my friends, I'll call him Matt (because that's his fucking name), began to describe for me how he wanted his project to sound, and I thought that it was the most ridiculous things to be discussing. First of all he put an established artist's music on and said he wanted tracks like those. I thought to myself (but didn't say it aloud), "Then go have whoever did his tracks do yours. Huh? What was that? You're broke? Ok then just take these."

The point that I tried to make to him was that first of all, music doesn't necessary work that way. You can interfere with creative process by trying to write like someone else. Music has it's rules, but as long as you adhere to them and know when to break them, anything is possible. But non-musicians don't understand that. They don't understand that sometimes tracks actually write themselves. Most of the time something happens that surprises me. I don't have a clue how I ended up where I did, but it sounds tight.

My other point simply was that the music business is a BUSINESS. And it doesn't matter to me if I work with a one-legged Ukrainian playing a Ukelele or him, as long as I am making money, I couldn't care less. No matter what you're doing, you should be trying to make a buck at it. We too damned broke as a people to not focus on that. But he said, and this was when the permanent separation occurred, "I don't care if I make money off of it.....I just want to complete my own project." (Pregnant pause....let that marinate for a minute). I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation, but suffice it to say that he talked about how hard he was going to work to stay broke-how much effort he was going to put into being someones human resource. The logic of being financially independent I couldn't get him to wrap his brain around. Now let me tell you how the conversation ended, he picked up his cell phone as I was talking and dialed a number, and then began talking nonsense about girls with whoever was on the line. And we wonder why the black woman, the white woman, the white man, the Asian man, the Hispanic man and woman don't respect us.

I work with a 6' 3" Asian man who is wealthy and has introduced me to more multi-millionaires than I've seen on TV. They stop by our office from time to time to visit him. I met a nondescript Asian gentleman who was worth $50 million easy. Some of these men were self-made, others inherited money. My boss, the 6' Asian guy, is wealthy in his own right. He spends every moment at work trying to increase the bottom line. He has taught me that resources are limited. Sure we can all say that we understand what that means, but in reality do we? When you're at work and you stop to talk on the phone to a friend that calls to see how you're doing, do you realize that you are wasting company money? They pay you to work while you're there. Most of my friends know not to call me at work. They are simply interferring with my ability to put food on my table. Unless it's business, I don't want to really waste my time talking about the Patriot's game. All of the Patriots are wealthy. And I don't need to fuck off my earning time to talk about rich people. I'm trying to get there myself, and unless I'm getting compensated for talking about whether or not Jay-z really retired or not, call me after work hours-and even then be cautious because I parlay that time too.

I know that sounds harsh, but if you do the math, perhaps you'll agree with me. Let's take a look:

•There are 24 hours in a day
•9 of those hours belong to your employer (10 if you have a 1 hour commute)
•8 hours (if you're lucky) are spent rejuvenating your body or sleeping)
•The other 6-8 hours are usually used to take care of responsibilities.
Time is infinite but our lives are finite-waste a day and it won't be added to the end of your life.

Most people get about an hour or two a day to themselves. So why would you waste the time you should be using to earn enough capital to buy the rest of your life back chatting with idiots? Now if you're working a job that can't get you enough money to take the rest of your life off, you'd better be doing that shit in your own time. Otherwise you'll be slaving for someone else for the rest of your life. And this is what my friend was telling me his goal was. "You see, I have second interview with Crate & Barrell and I'm going to parlay that into.....". Don't get me wrong, I love Matt. Matt is my brother-I consider him my family. But I wasted so much time with Matt in the 90's writing tracks, producing tracks, staying up late at night recording him and having to get up early the next morning and commute an hour and 10 minutes to work. If I knew that you were doing this for self-agrandizement, I would have used that time for either my own projects or to get a few extra hours of sleep or to spend time with members of my family.

Matt's wasted enough of my time-and enough of his own, but if that's what he wants to do, it doesn't mean I have to join the circle-jerk.

Heaven Help Us.

The Prince

Monday, October 23, 2006

Even In Death Lay Wins

First and for most, let me say that I don't believe that Ken Lay is any deader than...I don't know, any of you who might read this blog entry. But I heard some of the most shocking news today on KPFK, (yeah, I listen to that left-wing, listener supported rhetoric). It appears that since Ken Lay died of an apparent heart attack, his estate won't be touched in spite of his criminal activity. All the money he stole from the state of California; all the money he stole from companies that Enron bought and cannibalized; all the retirement funds he and his hoods looted will remain within his family's possession. What kind of country is this? It isn't one at all-it is a modern day pirate's cove whereby the populous are fooled into worshipping the pirates that rob and exploit them daily.

Any gain that is realized from criminal activity is to be forfeited-that's the law. But, in my opinion, not only did they fake K. Lay's death, they've now made it possible for him to keep all the booty. You have to ask yourself, how can they look themselves in the mirror? What types of human beings are these (that's if they're human at all). I am so sad that I had 4 children. This world is not the type of place I would want my children to be raised. To know that I can't even protect them from the harm that may come their way angers me. I know that there are other places much worse, but most of those places are in the condition that they are in because of what this country is responsible for.

When I heard about K. Lay keeping the riches he so blatantly stole from common folk who busted their asses for 20-30 years-scratching and saving for their retirement, I was extremely saddened. Can you imagine, getting up everyday, going to work, saving and watching your nest egg grow-and then comes along these thugs in Brooks Brother suits, wearing smiles and expensive ties. They promise you the heaven and deliver you hell. Every quarter you've received a report on how your money's growing. You know that there's only about 2 years left and you'll be able to buy that lake house and fish for trout all day every day. And one day there's an announcement that you're being bought by Enron and everyone's happy. Why? Because their stock is going through the roof. They must be doing something right...right? Wrong. They're staying afloat because they've been behaving like locusts-descending upon crops, devouring them, and moving on to the next. And when you're government, who's only purpose is to protect you is called into play, they fake his death and let his estate keep the ill-gotten goods. Why shouldn't the rest of us behave in kind? When your reward for doing what is upstanding and right is a dick up your ass compliments of the U.S. government-what incentive does one have to do otherwise?

Today is a sad day in the history of mankind.

The Prince

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Marjorie's Dowry

Some years ago I worked for a telecommunications company and received a promotion to a department that earned me a ton of money over the course of about 6 years. Of the 5 people hired, I was the only black and the only male. The other individuals were female. I came to know (not in the biblical sense) them quite well as we went through training and navigated our careers. One of the young ladies was named Marjorie. She wasn't a strikingly attractive young lady. In fact she was relatively nondescript. If she walked into a room, she wouldn't draw very much attention. But she was a very nice girl who had a plan.

Majorie and I were amongst the few people who poured a majority of our salary into our 401k plan. One day I asked Majorie what motivated her to allot so much of her salary to 401k and she said, "It's for my dowry."
"Dowry?" I asked. I knew exactly what it was but in my lifetime had never heard anyone speak of or much less have one.
"Yes, dowry. If I'm to be taken seriously by my husband, I must bring something to the table."

I looked at Majorie long and hard trying to assess the words that she had just spoken. All of my years I had heard about how and why men should be taking care of a woman, and all she had to do was show up. She didn't have to bring anything to the table, and furthermore, once married, she didn't have to do much else. No cooking, cleaning, or caring for the children, (the man had better earn enough for her to stay home and not work AND pay for some cleaning lady to come and take care of the household). She was the prize and you'd damn well better take care of her or else she will pack up the kids and take half of what you might have already had before she came around. Majorie and no such disillusion. I really cogitated over what she said to me. It struck a nerve. Here was a woman who refused to buy into society or the media's false inflation of a woman's worth. She, first of all, knew that she wasn't the most attractive woman on the planet. But not only did she have a clear sense of her own value, she also knew the value of all women.

She didn't allow herself to become disillusioned over beauty-we all know that eventually that fades. She came bearing gifts. And if a man is supposed to support you solely, shouldn't you bring something to the table? There was a time when a family put money aside so that the daughter would have something to offer the husband when they wed. Nowadays, she just comes with the clothes on her back and laundry list of things YOU need to do. And if she manages to assemble a nugget or two, she won't let you forget that she brought all of this to the table and you brought nothing. Or she will discriminately eliminate you as a candidate because you ain't got shit.

I'm not saying we should go back to the days where a woman came with a dowry, but keeping in mind that at one time there was an intrinsic value assigned to her via a dowry, what is a woman's true worth today?

The Prince

Monday, October 02, 2006

OHIO PLAYERS

Thursday night, the band borded a flight headed for Detroit Michigan. We were picked up by a stretch hummer and whisked off to Toledo Ohio. We had a gig there that, I must admit, was really a waste of time. We played a total of 3 songs. But I have to admit that I partied my ass off! The Henessy was flowing, the 420 was burning. I need about a year to recover.

It was cool kicking it with the band but today when we touched down in Los Angeles, we received a text message from our keyboard player stating that he quit. Pretty chicken shit but so fucking what-there are more keyboard players out there. It would have been cool if he would have let us know ahead of time and give us an opportunity to find another keyboard player but you can't have everything.

All in all I guess I understand his departure-he just graduated from college, he's got a new job and money for the first time in his life-and we are a part of his past I'm sure he wants to forget-good riddance. I don't know how black people think that they will get anywhere as individuals if they can't go anywhere as a group. I'm so disappointed in my people. It's as though they can't do a damned thing as a group. Oh wait, they fight a lot and act like crabs in a bucket, but I don't consider that a positive group activity. I think crisis brings people together and black people are in a crisis. But we've been there so long we've normalized our awful condition (and even consider some of it cool). So even though we are in a bad state, we can see it. And we infight with each other instead of building something positive. That young man is going to find out that white folks will hang you out to dry. If it can happen to Mike Tyson, Mike Jackson, OJ Simpson (ok maybe OJ was guilty), it could happen to you-wet behind the ears, green horn. God hasn't blessed you brother, and if he has, you'll find out that you've misused that blessing. Do I say that because you left the band? No, I say it because I remember how you were prior to your graduation-now you're too hot for TV-life will explain this to you one day.

RCP

Monday, September 25, 2006

What's It Like?

I came home today for lunch and looked at my wife sitting on the couch. I spoke and she barely nodded her head. I began to think, "What's it like to come home to a woman that's happy to see you?" I don't what that's like-can't say that I ever have (that I can remember). It's best to be alone, I think.

When my youngest daughter stays with me, it feels good when I come home because she greets me at the door with the biggest "DADDY" that a man could ever want. I have to say that it's the highlight of my day. The joys of fatherhood are worth all the shit I put up with her Mom. My wife is not a very happy person generally. Me, I'm always happy. Always smiling, always laughing, and this place is such a downer. I really would like to see it change, but I guess deep down inside, I know it won't.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Kanye for President

I have to admit that I didn't have much respect for Kanye West, both as an artist and as a human being until he spoke out during Katrina. It wasn't until after his bold and brash statement about Bush that I actually stood up and took notice. Subsequently I purchased (ok downloaded after purchasing) his sophomore project (can't call it a cd or album any longer). I already had his first one but rarely listened to it. I didn't give him much credit but when he opened his mouth and exercised his right to free speech, I stood and applauded him. His statement wasn't very profound (almost childlike if you ask me), but he stuck his neck out for his people and paid a price.

I recently saw him on television and he admitted that he lost endorsements behind his statement. The first thing I thought was how fucking un-American until I reminded myself that that was American. Having a system whereby you tell people that they have the freedom to do something but punish them for doing it is, and has been, America since the beginning. It is why we can have this document that clearly states that all men are created equal and then you tarnish the legitimacy of the document by amending it claiming that certain men aren't men afterall-just 3/5 of a man. HUH?

I think that every black person in the country should buy his next release twice. Let's make him the biggest selling artist since the Beatles. I don't care if he records a project farting for 30 minutes-we should pick it up. Better yet, we should implore him to do something totally independent like write a script and shoot a movie. I don't care if it's crap, we buy 2 DVD's a piece and see it as many times as we can. This way, all of the money goes into his pocket and not the record company's. If you don't have the extra cash, you can take it out of the 10% we've been giving the church for centuries, and they haven't done a damn thing to improve our communities.

If we don't do this, how will we ever encourage others in influential positions to stand up for the masses of black people that suffer every single day in this country? In the 60's when Muhammad Ali took a stand against the Vietnam War, every black person in America should have kept the man in the lap of luxury. We should have donated en masse to help him financially. He was a living hero amongst us. It is up to us to let our people know that if they represent us, we will support them. It is a 2-way street you know. If Kanye lost an endorsement deal, the company that dropped him should lose the entire black community as customers. If it's Nike, we don't purchase another pair of Nikes until Kanye's contract is reinstated AND he's compensated double for every penny he lost during the time that his contract was nullified. If we don't come together as a people, we will be picked apart.

Let's do what we can to help our brother out. He was the proverbial David that went up against Goliath-has hasn't defeated him yet, but with our help perhaps he can.

The Prince

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Most of Us Wouldn't Get Along With God

It always amazes me how people talk about the glory of God but can't get along with individuals right here on earth. Especially those who don't like anyone telling them what to do. For those of us who didn't get along well with our parents or bucked authority, definitely won't get along with God. I mean, come on, he's the ultimate in authority-the GRAND parent. If your parents wouldn't let you lay around the house as an adult and not work, what makes you think God's gonna have you just kicking it up in heaven drinking all the milk and eating all the honey. You don't get more power and authority than God. For those of you who don't like your boss telling you what time to get to work, God and you are going to have MAJOR problems.

You women who God told specifically to obey your husbands won't be able to put your neck on a swivel, close your eyes and waive your finger in God's face. "My Daddy don't talk to me like that" won't work with God. When he tells you to cook something to eat, you'd better not give him any lip-once dead, you only have two choices of residency-and I don't think I have to tell you what they are. Once God divorces you, there won't be any alimony, no getting half-just straight to hell you go. I'm sure you'll love your new husband.

I think the people who will have the biggest problem with God are Christians themselves. God doesn't care too much for vilifying people because they're different and Christians are notorious for telling you you're going to hell. What makes them think that they are God's chosen? God never told them to tell anyone they were going to hell. That's some shit they made up on their own. When God can create the heavens and the earth in 6 days, why the hell does he need some semi-intelligent half-wit talking for him? I'd say not. But yet, they continue to speak for God. God will punish you they say. How do they know. And what about all the back stabbing, back sliding, and back biting that Christians are notorious for? How do they think God will like that?

If there is a God, the majority of us will find ourselves expelled from heaven. St. Peter (whom I believe is as fictitious as Santa Claus) might as well install a revolving door at the pearly gates because just as many people come in, even more will be leaving.

The Prince

Monday, September 18, 2006

Destiny

I guess I'm old enough to know that one cannot escape one's destiny but hope springs eternal. My band played at the Cotton Club in Long Beach CA both last Friday and Saturday. I've been trying to get my neighbor (one of the most beautiful women I know), to come to one of my performances for the past 2 years. I went down on Friday, handed her a flyer and asked that she come one of the nights.

Friday night was really slow. There was maybe about 10 people in the entire club. But Saturday night was unbelieveably great! The club was packed. We were a quarter of the way through our first set and guess who walks through the door looking as stunning as ever? My neighbor. I nod acknowledging her entrance and we finish our first set. I walk over to she and her date and thank her for coming. She stands and gives me this big hug which I'll never forget because we've never had physical contact before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those hopeless romantics that gawk over a woman from a distance hoping that one day we'll be together. But If you saw this woman, you'd understand.

After our second set, she and I met at the bar and began small talk. She began to talk about my wife's rude behavior, and then she brought up my stepson. Apparently he'd entered her apartment without permission one day while she was asleep and was caught leaving with a skateboard that belonged to my neighbor's son. When I heard this I was shocked and I explained to her that when she has problems, to talk to me-my wife isn't the best disciplinarian.

This evening I decided to talk to my stepson (age 9) about his behavior. Part of the way through the conversation, his mother pipes in and begins to mitigate his behavior with excuses. This enraged me. I've told her on several occasions that she enables him by doing this but she continues to do it anyway. It went from a disciplinary session between me and her son, to an all out argument between she and I. She told me that he wasn't the only one in the house. I told her that the neighbor told me that it was her son, no one else. And even if there was someone else, he has no business going inside someone else's house without permission. My wife began blaming the other kids and saying that her son was following other people. I asked her who was he following we he was alone in his bathroom and lit the trash can on fire? She said that we weren't talking about that-of course we weren't but as I pointed out to her, it was the same damn child.

We argued a bit more and I went to the laundry room to put my clothes in the dryer. On my way it hit me. Why am I trying to save this child from his destiny. Who am I to believe that I can change the course of his future? Especially when his mother interferes. Sadly, she is condemning her son to a life of crime I believe. But what can I expect? She's from a line of them herself. And though she isn't technically a criminal, she's definitely done her share of under the table shit.

I know it appeared that this was going to be an entry about my neighbor and I getting together for wild passionate sex, but sadly it's about a child who is heading down a path that neither I nor anyone can save him from. He is almost illiterate and has severe behavior problems. I've managed to get him to a point where he is in control of himself, but that only lasts when I'm in his presence. When I'm away, he does what he wants. He consistently hits neighborhood children but always insists it's an accident. And his mother always blames the other kid for being a sissy. My sister saw him hit his sister on Labor Day and he lied and said it was an accident. She stood there and watched him walk up to her and hit her. His mother just lets him get away with it. One day I came home from work and he was outside playing but his homework wasn't done. Now mind you, this is a boy that can barely read or write. I asked her what he was doing outside if his homework wasn't done and she said that she didn't know. NO EXCUSE IN MY BOOK!

I had decided long ago that this blog wasn't going to be about my wife and her nonsense anymore, but this one just set me off today. When I told her I was done she said it wasn't fair-HUH? What do you mean it's not fair? I don't get that logic. I guess if you understood insanity, it wouldn't be insanity.

The Prince

Friday, September 15, 2006

Seek and Ye Shall Find

The other night I was fast asleep and at about 4 am my wife wakes me up and asks me if I'm sleeping around. I found the question strange for 2 reasons:

1. It was 4 a.m.
and
2. I've informed her long ago who I sleep with is my business. I don't tell her what to do with her pu**y so don't tell me what to do with my d*ck.

But for some reason she pursued this line of questioning. She was being extremely persistent in her approach so I began to wonder if she'd come across some information. Sure enough, she had been through all the emails on my laptop. There was nothing that would lead her to believe that I was fucking around-just emails to a few people venting about our problems. I have to admit that I said some very harsh things about her. But I pointed out to her that these things I've said to her face. Still it hasn't stopped her from keeping me up late at nights as she fusses at me and cries.

I told her that with all of the things that we've gone through, how did she expect me to feel. I also pointed out to her that she has said some very negative things about me to her family and friends. When I wasn't working (even though I was still paying all of the bills), she would say some very damaging things about me to her friends and family. All the while I was paying 90% of the bills with money from the sale of my house. One of her friends, who was also the babysitter of her kids, once got funky with me and said some things about me being lazy to the kids. I kindly told my wife to check her friend before I brought a shit storm down on her. I don't like to use my resources against people but I don't mind, especially when they are defrauding the government by working under the table and getting welfare.

My wife has done so much damaging shit and she somehow expects me not to be bitter about them. I'm not saying that I'm an angel because I'm not. But what I can say is all of the negative things I've done in this relationship has been in response to shit that she's done. And for some reason, she doesn't think that matters. I told her last night that we shouldn't be talking about the things I said but why I said them. That is more important. It's not as though I'm just schizophrenic and talk bad about people because of a mental illness. I've talked to my wife time and time again about her behavior. We've sat down and come up with contingency plans on how to handle situations and arguments and when we get into the situation, she never complies.

I could go on and on about how foul she's been but that's not even important. I picked her, married her, and now is not the time to complain about how and who she is. That would be irresponsible on my part. I have no excuses. But I wish she would assume responsibility for her own actions and perhaps she would see how she can contribute to making our lives better.

Last night I told her that I didn't regret the things that I said and I wasn't sorry. Had she never read my emails without my permission she wouldn't have found out that way. Not only that, if she would listen to me when I talk to her instead of trying to find something to say back, she wouldn't be surprised. She feels embarrassed that I told people how she behaves. She likes to do her dirt in darkness but in light of other people's opinions she likes to pretend that all things are well.

Now before you all get judgmental on me about my comment about sleeping with whomever I choose, let me first say that you would need to walk one step in my shoes to understand why I feel this way. I decided when I was 19 dating my very first serious adult girlfriend, that I had no control over what she did when I was away. I found myself wondering if she was sleeping around when I was at work. After a couple of months of worrying about it, I just decided that I had only a tacit agreement with her regarding who she fucked. Married people stray and I didn't want to have unrealistic expectation regarding the relationship. We were just dating and if she decided she wanted to fuck someone else, what grounds (legal or otherwise) did I have to stop her? None. So I just stopped caring. I would have preferred her not fuck around, but if she did, I wasn't losing my head over it. I had better things to worry about.

I still feel that way today. And since there has a been a bout of infidelity on my wife's part (a month after we married), I made it clear that our marriage is one that no longer requires my fidelity. I love sex and variety. And if I vow to give it up to have sex with one person for the rest of my life, you'd better appreciate that because that is a huge sacrifice for an animal that was designed to mate with as many suitors he could get his hands on. Sorry people, you can go with all the man made-up shit you want to but the fact of the matter is males were meant to procreate with as many females they can get their hands on. Nature mandates it. It ensures the survival of the species. It always fascinates me how we make up shit thinking that we are smarter than our creator and Her design. Like I've always said in the past, you can put 100 men and 1 woman on an Island, come back in 100 years and you'll have 101 corpses. Put 100 women on an Island with 1 man and you can come back in 100 years and you will have a burgeoning society. I didn't design it that way, that's just the way it is. If you can argue against that last statement, then you probably shouldn't visit my blog anymore because I truly won't have one iota of respect for anything you say. The logic in that philosophy is undeniable. There's a reason why a man can impregnate an unlimited amount of females-nature needs it that way.

Now I will agree that it isn't a wise thing to do-but we have to remember that there are animals that risk life and limb to procreate. The male praying mantis (insect) actually dies during the act of copulation. The urge to procreate is greater than our will to live! Why? Because nature just needs you to continue doing so-not continue living, but to procreate. Once you've done so, you're just occupying space here. You're clearly in the way. I know it's hard to see yourselves in that light, but think about-if you died tomorrow, would the universe cease to exist? Would the sun stop shining? The wind stop blowing? The ocean discontinue to ebb and flow? No. The only difference is you won't be here. And the based upon the planetary population, less that .00000000000000001% of the world's population will ever even know that you've been here. If you're that significant wouldn't something happen? Wouldn't the sun at least stop shining for a while?

What does all of this have to do with my wife reading my emails? Nothing, I just go out on a tangent every now and again. And I appreciate you all going there with me.

The Prince

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Band Aid

Friday we had one of our weekly gigs at the Cotton Club West in Long Beach and two of our members showed up very late. I was the one that negotiated this gig at the club so of course the owner wanted to speak to me. He wanted to know why we wasn't able to go on 'til 11:00 pm. Not only did we lose money, (the owner let everyone in free-what's the use of charging when there isn't a band playing?), (I) we lost credibility. The man's trying to run a business and here we are not being able to show up and perform on time-I was livid. I found an inanimate object (a rather large yellow flashlight) in the parking lot and destroyed it! There was a time when I was known for my temper but those days have long since departed. But at least during those times no one played with me. As I've aged, people have known me more for my cool head-but Friday I tried my best to damage that reputation. If being cool gets me in trouble, I don't want to have anything to do with it. I don't care what you're doing or who you are playing for, it will not take precedence over whatever it is that I'm doing. If you are supposed to play with my band, be there or be replaced.

Some people have a problem with following orders but everything that is worth anything in life abide's by a set of rules. For instance if you're flying from Los Angeles to New York, there are rules. First of all, the plane had better leave at a certain time. Secondly, the crew has to abide by a certain set of rules otherwise they cannot fly. I don't think any of us would travel via airline if there weren't stringent rules and if we expect everyone else to abide by stringent guidelines why can't we abide by those guidelines ourselves. That is how we achieve near perfection.

With that said, there will be some changes within Wisdom Soul. Either we get the dedication that I'm looking for or I'll find members that will follow suit. I'm not the best vocalist, guitarist, or front man. But I'm dedicated and I am always looking to improve. I expect the same from everyone else. This is a business and either we conduct it like one or those who wish to can go back to garage band status. I'll find the unit that will BE ON TIME!!!

Enough said on this subject...Y'all, COME OUT AND SEE WISDOM SOUL. And check out our latest photos at jerryli.comand click on Richard's Band.

See You At The Next Show!!!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

My Own Private Armeggedon

In some ways, this is a reprint. I wrote about this subject in another blog, but I thought it needed revisiting. Our interpretation of the Bible might be a bit off. I'll give you an example of how that could happen. When I was a kid, they used to have this comic strip that featured two nude children (kind of sick when you think of it) with a caption over their heads that read, Love Is... and at the bottom there was some, what I considered, silly saying. Once I read one that read, Love Is....never having to say you're sorry. As a 11 year old, I interpreted it to mean that you could do anything you wanted to someone that you love and never have to say you're sorry. Now mind you, I'm a relatively intelligent individual, but I somehow f**cked that one up. I walked around for the better part of the day thinking how great this LOVE thing is, until I mentioned it to my relatively intelligent older sister, and she called me an idiot and put things into their proper persepective.

Now I just admitted to you how ridiculously naiive I was about the meaning of that saying-imagine how many people misinterpret things that are written, stated, displayed or reenacted but don't say anything, because in their minds, they've fully comprehended what the intended message was. Take that concept and apply it to the Bible, and armeggedon.

We are under the impression that the entire world, at one time, will be engulfed in this chaos. But what if armeggedon was going on right under our nose, and just because it hasn't arrived on our doorsteps yet, we are completely unaware? Is that a possibility?

Take into consideration that tragedy that occurred in Rwanda some years ago. Think about the horror that those people went through. Isn't that an example of what is mentioned about armeggedon? Think about it. How is that not the ultimate in tragedy and horror for the people who suffered through it? What about the Cambodians in the days of Pol Pot? Millions of people were exterminated. Isn't that their own private armeggedon?

I could go on for days recounting human tragedy after human tragedy. East Timor, Somalia, ethnic cleansing in Bosnia-Herzegovina, the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki-perhaps we've been living through armeggedon all along. Maybe it's happening now, but the only reason we are allowing it to continue is because our impression of it is something entirely different. We think it will be a global occurrence. Perhaps we're wrong. Perhaps armeggedon will occur one region at a time. Maybe evil lacks the ability to do it's thing all at once so it acts like a swarm of locust, descending upon an area, wreaking havoc, and moving on to the next region. All the while, we sit complacently because surely this isn't how we envisioned it would happen. How many times have we had an idea about how something would occur and when it finally took place we said, "Oh I thought that it would be entirely different."? Often times our visions don't align with reality.

I don't know for certain that we are living in the end days or not, but what I do know is this-we can't destroy this world. We are fooling ourselves if we believe that. What we can do is make it uninhabitable for most of the life forms that are here, but this planet will continue to be here whether we're on it or not. Most of us refuse to be even slightly inconvenienced to make a stand and do something about what's taking place. By the time we decide to do something, the tradedy will be upon us and by then it will be too late.

Make no mistake about it, one day the tragedies that have visited the rest of the world will find their way here. And we will experience the death and destruction that has so plagued the rest of the world. Was it ever avoidable? Was it the inevitable? Yes and no. Yes it's avoidable, and no it isn't the inevitable. But things, I believe have gone too far, and while we watch casually as the rest of the world struggles with horror after horror, we can take comfort in the fact that when genocide comes knocking on our door, we saw it coming yet chose to do nothing and we can blame no one but ourselves.

Prince

The Flavor of Love

I believe that there are only few of you who've not heard of Flavor Flav, formerly of Public Enemy fame, but now a reality TV star in his own right. He has the hit television show, The Flavor of Love which is now airing its second season. Flav, whose real name is William Drayton, is the clownish buffoon that most black people shy away from, but white America embraces as an acceptable portrayal of black males. But aside from the political aspect of the subject, Flav has managed to extend the proverbial 15 minutes of fame that Andy Warhol so graciously granted us.

Even within the group Public Enemy, Flavor managed to create a stir. Professor Griff, the militant minister of information for the group, was rumored to despise Flav, claiming that he was exactly how white Americans wanted to see black males. Flavor, on the other hand, ignored Griff and anyone else and continued being Flav.

But now that I've extolled his genius, I have to admit that he's probably not the most attractive male on TV, and it's quite possible that he's the most unattractive (possibly his intention) male spotlighted since Lyle Lovett. If in fact this it true, then why is it that women are flocking to The Flavor of Love in record numbers to be fondled, groped, kissed and in some instances, humiliated by this person? Now I won't make the mistake I've made in the past and make this a blanket indictment on all women, but in this day and age of women's advancement, doesn't this set them back ever so slightly? They cry, fight, and back stab one another, all vying for Flav's attention. I know that a behavioral comparison can be drawn between Flav's show and other reality successes like Big Brother and Survivor but the biggest difference is Flavor isn't the grand prix on those other shows.

I have to admit that I was going to really make a big stink about women's behavior but I decided that I wasn't going to do that type of journalism any longer. The truth is, men, including myself, need to look at themselves and fix ourselves instead of remaining stagnant and condemning women. But I do need to mention that you have to question a woman who would exhibit so much false emotion just to best one another. Make no mistake about it, Flavor isn't really the prize. The true prize is defeating fellow contestants. Flavor just happens to be the judge, jury, and executioner in this contest. Any fool knows that you appeal to the judges. And one thing most women know how to do with precision is appeal to authority. As a military police officer, I was often treated to accidental slips of blouses exposing more breast than was allowed shown in public. There were the comments about my attractiveness. I know I'm not Flavor Flav, but I'm no Shamar Moore either-so cut the crap.

Watching these women do what they do so naturally leads me to this conclusion. If a man wants peace, he needs at least 3 women in his life at all times-and they all know about one another. Look at the peace that Flavor enjoys. If he needs one, he calls them up from his stable, wines and dines them, and then sends them back amongst the pack. They all vie for his attention and while they wail and gnash teeth amongst one another, they charm and delight him with their best behavior. And the beauty about the entire arrangement is the fear that the other competitor will grab all the glory keeps them all firmly planted in their places. Now don't get me wrong, I know that the lure of attaining their 15 minutes of fame is more responsible for them remaining than the competition, but one thing that is undeniable is the fact that after a couple of days those cameras disappear and those women begin doing what they do naturally. These aren't actors, and I'm not even sure that an actress could remain in character as long as these women are being taped. They ultimately resort back to who they really are and they make no attempts to get in the way of their true selves.

I guess one could draw several thousands of conclusions about the show, but this is the one that I've drawn. And given my past, I don't think anyone would really be surprised-are you?

RCP

Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Corruption of Absolute Power

Yesterday I had a meeting with the club promoters that run the venue that my band now performs at. I was about 30 minutes early and grabbed The African Connection, a free newspaper that was outside Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. Flipping through, I came to an article about a prison guard at a juvenile facility who was accused of favors for sex. As I read through the article, I realized that the guard was a woman. She had had sex with two juveniles in exchange for food and candy. At first I didn't think much of it, but then it began to dawn on me that this isn't the only case of an older woman, in a position of authority who has abused that power to manipulate young boys into sexual situations.

In fact, the very first real life situation that I've ever knew about was a teacher at my Jr. high school and a boy that was about 13 years old. She was a very attractive typing teacher and he was an underprivileged Mexican boy. He was always in her classroom and for a moment, I thought that perhaps she was adopting him. Even after he went to high school, he would always periodically visit. And he even began to drive her silver corvette. We never really suspected anything because in our minds, the thought of such a beautiful woman taking interest in someone our age was so far-fetched and preposterous, we couldn't even entertain the thought. Perhaps there were those that could; I for one just couldn't buy it.

Fast forward about 20 years. I'm watching KCAL 9 news and the news anchor is talking about a teacher who was arrested for child molestation-no big deal right? I'm mean how many times have we heard this story? And then he (the news anchor) states the she's female (a bit more interesting now), and that this all took place in the city that I grew up in, (now they've got my full attention). They mentioned the teacher's name and said that several boys came forward and accused her of attempting to have sex with them and she even offered the use of her car in exchange. I was shocked-it was then that I realized that the young Mexican boy was (voluntarily mind you) the victim of molestation.

We've all heard the story of Mary Kay Letourneau, the woman that had two children with her underage student. And that beautiful woman in Florida, Debra Lafave, who was having an affair behind her husband's back with one of her underage students. This was once the arena that males dominated but now, with women assuming more positions of power, we are beginning to see that the phenomena isn't just about males. I too was shocked and aghast when I found out that my jr. high school teacher was f**king a boy around my age. I couldn't figure out why anyone would want to have sex with a minor. I mean, yeah, I did...WHEN I WAS A MINOR!!! But as an adult, I simply have no attraction for anyone under 21-actually, I really don't have much of an attraction for anyone under 27 or 28. If a woman even mentions that she's under 27, my eyes glaze over and I begin to think about what's on my agenda for tomorrow.

I guess the point of this entry is to illustrate how for so many years, men were rightfully vilified for abusing their position power and taking advantage of innocent females in lesser positions. If it wasn't the teacher/student situation, it was the stepfather/stepdaughter, or the adopted father/adopted daughter (Woody Allen anyone?). And this was the part of the argument that the feminist members of the National Organization of Women (NOW) used religiously to fight for women's rights. Now that women are in more powerful and influential positions, we are seeing some of the same predatory behavior. I think it's safe to assume that we have human behaviors and the only thing that keeps certain individuals from committing certain crimes is often circumstances. There are plenty of both men and women who are in positions of power and never abuse others. Plenty of step parents who never molest-plenty of teachers that don't attempt to do harm to their students-both male and female. And yes there are those that do. But it never was a gender issue, it was an issue of character. And sadly what we are discovering is that while NOW was riding on the back of this issue to gain prominence, it's the very same issue that has basically come back to illustrate that, although we are different in our physiological make-up, we are both still prone to have character flaws the lead us down paths of wrongdoing. It isn't a male thing or a female thing, it's a human thing.

I bet you older cultures like the Africans, Native Americans, and Europeans wouldn't even blink an eye when it comes to this subject. They know that women and men are both capable of committing any crime that's on the books. Women may not be able to forcibly commit rape, but through coercion, they are certainly capable of committing statutory rape. And as I mentioned before, it's circumstantial-the only reason they can't forcibly rape someone is that physically they are the weaker sex. If women were physically stronger than men, they would undoubtedly rape. I've heard stories of lesbians forcing sex upon women. I've even seen a lesbian get rejected over and over by the same woman as she continued to exhibit what I would deem inherently male aggressive behavior. I couldn't help thinking, "If that was me being so aggressive, I would've been accused of attempted rape,"

In closing, I guess I'm just hoping that we all realize that men are no more monsters than anyone else, and that both sexes are capable of doing some very ugly things. Remember Susan Smith, the woman who drowned her two boys because she thought that some guy wouldn't marry her if they were still alive? And somehow they almost managed to blame that on a man. And so as not to seem biased, there is a ongoing case here in California about a man who tossed his daughter off a cliff so the he wouldn't have to pay child support. Man, I would like to be the one that pulls the switch on this f**king bastard. How could you do such a thing to your own child? That innocent girl was supposed to receive protection from this lower life form. If that isn't the ultimate betrayal of both your male and paternal duties, I don't know what is. I hope he fries.

I am Black I

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Call Me Old Testament

I've never revealed this in my new blog because it was one of the reasons that I was viciously attacked in my last blog-I don't believe in monogamy. Yes, I'm married, but I'm not now, nor have I ever been, nor will I ever be, monogamous. I've accepted that fact about myself, my wife has accepted it about me, and I don't see why others wouldn't just let 2 (or soon to be 3) consenting adults be who they are without scrutiny. Personally, I'm just old testament. It's in me. I'm no different than Solomon, Abraham, or David. Well there's a slight difference, I'm not a king...I'm a Prince....of Know Where? Seriously, I received so much hate mail-like I was molesting children or something. No-I'm molesting grown consenting women, and if you have a problem with that, you need to check your motives for lambasting me.

The good thing about polygamy is that there's one less woman on the street trying to get your man. We know that there are more women in the world than men. Not to mention the fact that men die earlier, plus wars deplete the supply; jail and drugs; poverty. What are these women supposed to do, go without male companionship? We seriously need to reevaluate our social beliefs. What kills me is when the Bush supporting, right-wing, christian (sic) moral-majority decide that war is good-they don't look at the end result of war. Men come back unsuitable (if they come back at all) for stable relationships. War corrodes and contaminates the mind and spirit. When you are forced to commit atrocities that conflict with the human spirit, it's hard to come back to a society that knows absolutely nothing about what you've gone through and what you've seen. You almost become envious of those around you because you've seen a world that the majority of us never even knew existed. Yeah, we hear about it, but we don't live it. So the christian right, moral-majority don't mind war and the killing and maiming of soldiers (both foreign and domestic) but when it creates a dearth of available males for the women in your population, you don't have a solution for this problem. You'd rather just ignore it, or accept as a necessary evil that single women will entice an attached or married man to creep. And when he gets caught, you vilify him as an infidel. What's poor Suzy down at the plant supposed to do? The recruiters have swept through and tricked most of her contemporaries into enlisting into combat, the ones that do come back aren't suitable-but there's the stable and married manager, Bill in manufacturing. Suzy needs a man and society has failed to provide her with one.

So what does she do? Entices Bill into an affair. I know, I know, Bill's supposed to be strong-he took vows, remember? But that was 10 years ago and Suzy's mini-skirt with the split up to her collar bone is standing right before him and his mind simply cannot function properly. Nature immediately steps in and says, "Now Bill, the only reason you are here is to procreate, NOW GET TO PROCREATING!! Brother Bill falls victim to his own nature (according to society) and now his caught in a trap. He loves Wendy, his loving wife, but there's no getting around the fact that Suzy needs love too! And where is she supposed to find it. Society has not provided for her. The preamble of the constitution specifically speaks about promoting the general welfare. Suzy's general welfare has been ignored. War, poverty, jail, premature demise, and drugs have all but robbed her of an opportunity to find a suitable mate. It's simple people. If you're hungry and have absolutely nothing to eat, and you look over into your neighbors window and he's chowing down on a porterhouse steak the size of your rear-end, you're probably going to wait until he leaves and sneak off into his house and snag one from his freezer. I know you're thinking No I wouldn't! If your choices were either snag the steak or starve, you'll snag!

Suzy's dilemma is no different. Nature is telling her she needs to hook up, but society hasn't provided her with an alternative to the shortage of suitors, so she does exactly what she's supposed to do, get one that belongs to someone else. I know it sounds immoral but societies have to address these situations and I'm sorry but a male dearth exists right now. I'm not saying this because I'm trying to convince people to accept my beliefs, I'm simply stating facts. Look, if every woman in America wants her own man to herself, and there are enough men to go around, why are people still cheating? It's not an issue of character-it's about availability. If there's a chicken in every pot (or a porterhouse steak) what's my reasoning for taking yours again? There wouldn't be one. The fact is, and has been for quite some time, there aren't enough men to go around-AND ESPECIALLY IN THE AFRO-COMMUNITY. So in order to address the infidelity, the breaking up of families, the lying and deceit, what are you to do. Every intelligent society has addressed this issue. They ask themselves, "Knowing that men die before women, and that there is a possibility that there will be a shortage of men, how do we address this problem? And if we don't address this problem, what are the ramifications? The answer to both of those questions is simple. But I'll answer them out of sequence. If you don't address this issue, you'll have more women turning to prostitution to support themselves-because not everyone can go to Harvard, not everyone has the opportunity to work for themselves and earn a decent living. Some people are just going to need a support system.

Prostitution erodes a society. Especially if it is criminalized. I guarantee you if polygamy was allowed in our society, you would see a significant decline in prostitution. Why would a man feel the need to see a prostitute if he has more than one wife? Secondly, children wouldn't have the problem of broken homes. That's not to say that they would go away, just that there would be less. Finally, we would have a stronger gene pool. Only those males who could provide and who were selected would be able to participate. If you were a bum, you couldn't get one wife much less two. Stupid people would cease to reproduce and we'd have stronger society.

And if you've read this far, I think we can agree that I've already answered the first question. I know there are those of you whose minds are ablaze now. How could he propose such a thing? Simple, it's out of necessity. Think about it from an intellectual position and not an emotional one and you'll have no choice but to arrive at the same conclusion.

"Nuff said.

I am Black I

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Blacks & Koreans Unite (sort of)

I was reading an article on the Black Electorate and came across an interview with a gentleman named Aron Ranen who did a documentary on the black hair care industry and how it is dominated by Koreans (click here to read). In reality, not a new story, just a new industry. It's pretty much what we blacks do with anything we're involved with-sports and entertainment? We do all the work, someone reaps all the benefit. I don't know how many artist have had their life blood sucked out of them by some corporate exec only to die penny-less while the exec is still wealthy and sucking the blood from the next victim. I don't blame the leach, I blame the host. Why do we who know better keep offering up our babies to this blood sucking machine? Oh, I know why, deep down inside, all we want to do is shine, bling. Yeah, my son plays for the Laker's and bought me this house! That's cool, but when he gets injured or his career is over, who's left holding most of the profit? Not the athlete. I've met some destitute athletes with superbowl rings and nothing else. When the river was flowing, they were the hot commodity, the moment they stopped making 16 solo tackles a game, or averaging 3 touchdowns a game or scoring 30 points a night, it's over.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't allow our children to do these things, I just believe that we should own it. It pains me when I hear people complain about the lack of black coaches in sports. A coaching job is just that, a job. We need to stop complaining about getting concessions and put ourselves in the position to own the whole damn enchilada. It's not as if their isn't a market for it. First of all, all of the entertainment that America exports is predominately black. Hip-hop music? HUGE internationally. Black athletes? HUGH internationally. Obviously they don't give a damn about skin color. Instead of getting to those market through American companies, we should go directly to the source. We need to stop being nationalist and get back to what Kwame Toure' and some of the other Pan-Africanist were talking about. We'll never get a fair shake unless we begin to control every aspect of the industries we dominate. And their is absolutely nothing anti-American about speaking this way. It is no more anti-American than 99% of the products Wal-mart sells coming from China. No one calls them anti-American. No more anti-American than good ole' AMERICAN EXPRESS itself leading the way in globalization by having its customer service in India. See how that works? Get your hands on an arsenal of nuclear weapons and you get a place at the table (referring to India).

All of the aforementioned I can relate to, but the black hair care industry? We nigga's done gone and lost our mind! How the hell you have a product that is purchased by you exclusively and you have less than 1% controlling interest? Most of these Korean-owned stores are RIGHT IN OUR VERY OWN NEIGHBORHOODS! How the hell does this happen?

I think I have an answer to this question. We as a group have a child-like mentality. I volunteered once to live in the hood. And I'm talking da hood! I could have stayed in upper-middle class Orange County (SoCal), but I moved to San Bernardino (if you ask me why, I'll plead temporary insanity). While I was interning in the hood, the main question I heard from our people was Man, they see how bad it is here, why won't they do something? They spend all that money to help other countries but they won't help us. I never really had an answer for that question because I could never get passed the one that loomed in my head, Why won't you do something for yourself? When did the government EVER do anything for the black people of this country. Kanye said that Bush don't like black people....DUH!!!! No Kidding?? Really???!!! You don't say??!!! Everything they've EVER done for us set us back. Welfare? Made us extremely dependent. Allowing drugs to be brought into this country and sold on the streets of our communities? Fostered dependency. Allowing us to intergrate? Fostered low self-esteem because some of us were bussed to places that did nothing more than to highlight our lack of material wealth. And don't get me started on the religion they gave us. Nothing has paralyzed us more as a people than Christianity. I'm sorry people, turning the other cheek is what you do to people that love you-not to your sworn enemy. We got it backwards, if our brother offends us, we gun him down in a drive-by. Our government allows us to suffer and we just turn the other cheek. The only reason I turn my cheek to my enemy is to gather up momentum to swing back around and slap the shit out of him.

Jesus didn't even stand for the shit that we put up with. He was the one that tossed the Jews out of the church for peddling their wares in the Lord's house. That shit cost him his life too. In the immortal words of the late comdedian Richard Pryor, You don't go down there messing with them Jews without any money!

The bottom line is, we're going to have to start doing away with creature comforts in order to change this shit. We need to stop buying hair care products from the Koreans. Not because I don't like them. Quite the contrary, I admire them and we could learn something from them. We should strive to emulate them. But we also need to start opening up our own stores right next to theirs and as a people start buying from ourselves. We are like babies! A baby can't even wipe it's own ass, it has to depend on someone else to change it's soiled diaper. And if white folks decided that no more toilet paper would be sold in our communities, we wouldn't be able to wipe our own asses because we don't even manufacturer, distribute, or sell the bare essential to wipe our own asses. Now people, that is SAD. Our fate is inextricably tied to a nation that doesn't even care for us! If America falls, the Jews have a place to go-Mexicans can just reverse migrate back across the border. Italians, back to the boot. African-Americans? Most of us don't even know an African much less know one that would accept or help us in a time of need. Katrina should have been our wake-up call. When our people are in need, we should be in a position to not only help them, but pressure this government to do the same. We pay tax dollars just like everyone else, but we couldn't even get them to help our people! We are like children. But I will tell you this people: America is looking for the next black messiah. No, this is true. Reason being, they've been living off of us for CENTURIES. The Korean hair-care debacle is just one chapter in this never ending saga. $750 BILLION COMES THROUGH OUR COMMUNITY ANNUALLY. Not my statistic, read Entrepenuer magazine, the June 2006 edition. we need to first of all become aware of the fact that we have economic power, and we need to parlay that into political power.

I know this is a long post, but please, let's start today trying to help ourselves out of this mess. Aron Ranen is a white guy, and even white people are trying to tell us to wake the fuck up. PLEASE PEOPLE... Let's do something before it's too late. I also want to implore you all to reach out to Africa. I am sponsoring an African student right now. It costs me $20 a month and it pays for his books and living expenses. JUST $20 A MONTH. If we help our people there, they may come here and help us out of our mess.

WHO'S WITH ME?????

I AM BLACK I

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

She Watch Channel Zero

Recently, my boss hired a 400lb Ox as a customer service rep in our office. OK, I'm exaggerating a bit, she isn't 400lbs and she isn't an Ox. She's more like 230lbs and I like to call her (behind her back) Mimi (like the fat character from The Drew Carey Show. Mimi was hired (much to my chagrin) by my boss and she hasn't been working for us 3 weeks and she's managed to lie about a girl who has worked with us for almost 6 months (let's call her Dara), accusing her of saying that my boss wasn't sure if he was going to keep Mimi. Mimi said that the other girl told her that she hated working in our office that it was boring. Now mind you, Mimi expressed interest in taking over Dara's position working our trade shows.

When this was first explained to me, I was really unnerved. I've known Dara for a few months and we've worked all the trade shows together, hit a few bars in Las Vegas together and hung out and chatted. I admit that I kind of liked her when I first met her because she's stunningly beautiful, but when she opened her 24 USC educated mouth, I knew that there was no way we could bridge the age gap; we can talk surface stuff but she lacks the experience carry on a deep and involved conversation. Anyway, I decided to ask Dara and she said that she said no such a thing. She and I had a brief conversation about the matter and I discussed it with my boss. He then told me that it wouldn't be long before Mimi came after me. I nodded my head in agreement because I was two thoughts ahead of him.

A couple of days later, Mimi and I were in the office together and she made a comment about men being stupid. I then responded that men actually make your life easier. Men offer protection. Who's going to protect you when a burgurlar is climbing through your window? 911? Call them and see how much shit a burglar can do to you before they get there. I explained to her that men make her life easier, and proceeded to tell her how women have fucked up our economy by entering the workplace only to now want to return home and call themselves SAHM's, (Stay At Home Moms). YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE FUCKING BEEN AFHM's, (Away From Home Moms) IN THE FIRST GODDAMNED PLACE. They've basically ruined a generation of children by trying to compete with men in the workplace.

Anyway, Mimi didn't like this (and rightfully so-the truth given straight, no chaser, can sometimes be a bit harsh), but she continued on and we got on the subject of marriage. She called her live-in stud (not my words, Dr. Laura Schlesinger's), her husband, and I chimed in, "You're married?" And she responded "Well not officially, but we practically are." And I said, "No, you're not. Married is when you go before a judge or a man of the cloth and exchange vows, if you haven't done that, you're just shacking up." Okay, I have to tell you why this was all so ridiculously stupid on my part-I'm a VP and own a teeny percentage (2%) of the company-she's also my direct report. BIG MISTAKE ON MY PART. Anyway Mimi continued to argue that she was married and I continued to refer her back to Webster's definition of marriage, to which she replied, "I don't subscribe to any Webster's definition." This should have been a sure fire sign that I was arguing with someone who didn't qualify as an intelligent being, but like an idiot, I plodded forward and explained to her that you can trace the decline of any great civilization to it's lack of respect language and education. Words don't mean anything unless that we agree on their meaning and they continue to maintain that meaning into perpetuity. "You can't make up your own definitions of socially accepted standards, I tried to explain to Mimi. I asked her "What if someone decided that killing you wasn't considered murder anymore." She rather blatantly explained to me that that was an extreme. And I explained to her that if we begin to compromise definitions, that is ultimately where we'll end up.

This went on for about 5 minutes and Mimi finally decided to shut up. The next morning I arrived to work and opened the office door (like I do every morning), except Mimi was standing with some sloppy guy in shorts and flip-flops. We just hired a new guy and, although I'd met him briefly, I thought that this was he. Turns out it was Mimi's boyfriend. She introduced us, we walked into the office and I went thru my ritual of turning on lights, the AC, the radio (which plays 94.7 the WAVE all goddamned day), and heating up some water in the coffee pot my mother gave me for my oatmeal. I went to my desk and Mimi was putting stuff in a bag. I asked if she was leaving and she said "I'm not happy here." I thought to myself, "Okay," and continued doing what I was doing. I figure if you aren't happy, by all means go someplace you are. I didn't like that fat bitch anyway so I was delighted. It didn't dawn on my that I could be the cause. My boss had actually yelled at her the day before so I thought maybe that was her reason for wanting to leave.

Anyway, my boss came in and I called him and told him he needed to come out, Mimi was leaving. He asked me why, and I told him I didn't know. He asked her what was wrong, and people...........this cow broke out in tears like a baby "I'M JUST NOT HAPPY HERE!!! BOOHOOOHOOOHOOOHOOOHOOO. People, I am not exaggerating. And then she ran to the conference room. They were in there for about 20 minutes and she came out all happy and I was like "Damn, I thought her fat ass was leaving."

At the end of the day my boss called me into his office and explained to me that the conversation Mimi and I had the day before was why she wanted to leave. I tried to explain that she'd opened the door but he retorted "You're an officer of the company and a partial owner, I expect more from you." And he was right.

So we fast forward to yesterday, Mimi's flying high because she's dug her heels in and feels that she's uprooted the old Lion. My boss was out all day Monday and left me in charge. Mimi decided to show up 10 minutes late. While answering an inquiry from her I mentioned that people that she counsels about punctuality (yes, my boss put this whale in charge of an employee that she rides like a shetland pony), won't respect her if she didn't show up on time. That's all I said. This bitch wrote me back about a paragraph about how we all got shit we need to work on and that I need to worry about me, and that she doesn't need to be micromanaged. I chose not to respond to the email, I explained it to my boss and he had the nerve to tell me I shouldn't have said anything to her. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND. Who is this bitch? Queen of nourishment? Oh so now she's untouchable. He counsel me on his instructions not to say anything to her.

When he called me for one of our evening end of day summaries, I let him have it. I told him either he does something about her or I will. He explained to me that he didn't care how she behaved, as long as she got her work done. WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE IS THIS?? She can run her mouth off to me like I'm the janitor, but If I say one thing to her, I'm admonished? Not in this lifetime. Went around for about 20 minutes and I told him that by morning I would come up with a solution to this problem for him.

I wrote him an email and explained that he was to keep his lapdog away from me. She was not to speak to me nor ask for my assistance. She needed to figure out on her own what needed to be done. If she had something to say to me, she needed to go through him, don't talk to me directly. I told him I didn't want her near me. I also explained that if she showed up late, I would write her ass up just like I did everybody else. And if she didn't like it, she can go work elsewhere. And if he wanted to fire me for doing my job, go right ahead.

There was something else that he did. Her 1st week she asked him how much I made. He told me that he told her that she and I made the same amount of money. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!! What the fuck is that? Our employee manual clearly states that you can be terminated for discussing salary and compensation. Basically what he did was to render me ineffective as a manager. If we make the same amount of money, what's the use of titles?

The bottom line is Mimi and I just aren't going to get along. I'm handsome, attractive, and people like me-and well, she's rude, obnoxious and fucking with the wrong negro. She'll find herself locked into a battle that might shorten her career. In fact I am looking for her replacement as we speak. So if you know of anyone out there that is interested in a challenging career where you don't have to dodge bullets, I have just the job for you!

I am Black I

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Public Breast Feeding

I just read an article about a magazine, Baby Talk that featured a baby breast feeding on its cover. Needless to say, people were outraged as though someone put a photo of a woman giving a blow job on the cover of a magazine. If you ask me, I think this is a issue that makes absolutely no sense. If you have a problem looking at breasts in public, that's a personal problem. I don't think a poor, hungry baby should suffer because you're uncomfortable looking at breasts. One lady in the article stated "I don't want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn't want to see." I got news for you lady, there ain't many breasts that men don't want to see either by accident or on purpose! In fact, the best breast views occur when you're walking down the street, minding your own business, and BAM! a breasts pops out at you and you say to yourself, "Where the hell did that come from?!!

Admittedly I have to say that I'm not totally comfortable with seeing a woman breastfeed in public. HOWEVER, the world should not conform to only what I am comfortable with. There are like 5,999,999,999 other people here on the planet and even if most of them agree with me, why should we impose our views on the rest? I don't always believe that majority should rule.

I was at the community swimming pool with my two kids the other day and our neighbor was sitting out with her husband and baby and decided to whip out a breast and begin to feed. Immediately I felt uncomfortable. I didn't know if I should avoid looking at her, our would a casual glance be considered perverted or if she cared at all. Then there was her husband, how would he feel if he caught me looking in her general direction and thought that I was gawking at his wife? Eventually I got up and left. Disappointed, the kids crawled out of the pool and complained about leaving early. I don't blame my neighbor for my uncomfortable feelings. I feel she has a right to do what she did and it is up to me to decide how to deal with those emotions. This time I decided to just walk away. Perhaps next time I'll have a discussion with them about it, I don't know. What I do know was the easiest way to deal with my discomfort was to get up and walk away. Not to curse them, or make a public scene (to which I had absolutely no right to do), but just walk away.

I think that if women begin to breast feed more often in public, most of us will simply grow accustomed to it. It would be like my first time at a nude beach. For about 15 minutes every neuron in my body was firing off at once and my face was all hot and flush. 15 minutes later I'd forgotten I was at a nude beach and that the couple next me was engaged in 69. Okay, I'm kidding about the couple 69ing-she was just blowing him. KIDDING!

The fact of the matter is, we can't just eliminate everything that causes us discomfort. A little discomfort sometimes is good. Do you think the rest of the world is comfortable with how the U.S. behaves globally? No, but they tolerate us. Sure, there are factions out there that would like to see us wiped off the face of the earth, but the majority of the globe just puts up with us and wave us off as crazy Americans. My point is, we can go around the world busting out all of the light bulbs, or we can just close our eyes-either way the effect is the same, but the latter just saves so much energy.

Ciao!

(C)ash (R)ules (E)verything (A)round (M)e (C.R.E.A.M.)

I had to have a heart-to-heart with the wife this morning about not handling her responsiblities. She's been driving for over 3 years without a driver's license and refuses to go get it. She got a DUI about 4 years ago. She went to all of her classes (of which I was very proud and thought that she was finally maturing), but never took the certificate down to renew her license. I didn't complain too much when she was driving her own car, but since her car broke down, (and she refuses to do anything to get it fixed) she drives my truck and I'm extremely concerned about her getting pulled over. Everytime I mention that she needs to get her driver's license, it turns into this super-huge argument. I can't see anywhere in this discussion where I am wrong. Perhaps I'm missing something, but I just don't understand female logic. How is it that I am putting myself at risk to allow you to drive my vehicle without a license but I am wrong for asking you to get your driver's license?

In my previous posts (on that deleted blog), I mentioned the fact that we should be allowed to hit stupid people in the head with a brick anytime they do something extremely stupid. And arguing with someone that is allowing you to get around in their car when you don't have one and you have no license is pretty stupid (**SMACK**). But what also deserves a (**SMACK**) is allowing someone who doesn't have a driver's license to drive your car. So we both deserve smacks today.

I guess I'm just at my wits end with this woman. She's not ready for primetime. I told her today that if she isn't ready to be an adult to go back home to mama because I can't raise her anymore. There wasn't a lot of arguing and ridiculousness in my house when I was growing up. We pretty much raised ourselves while my mother worked and we had rules of engagement. Sometimes we fought (physically), but there wasn't much nonsense. We were pretty intelligent and always worked through our problems.

I guess I take for granted that we were raised, or raised ourselves with order. Not everyone was (including my wife who was unfortunate to be raised by a child herself). My wife's mother had her at 15 and it is rumored that my wife's younger sister is the daughter of her very own grandfather. Now I don't know if it's true, but one thing I can tell you is that the grandfather was an alcoholic of record proportions and he drank himself to death-my wife's sister is the exact same way. My wife has a light complection and her sister is darker. They are both Mexican, but my wife has very white skin like her mother and father and her sister has extremely dark (Indian) skin (like her grandfather).

I don't know how I ended up affiliated with a wife from such a messed up family, but I did and to think that if I just avoided the extended family everything would be alright was foolish on my part. They've crept in via her mentality. She is them. We've separated once before, and when we did, I should have stayed away because nothing has gotten any better. She's changed some but I've come to the conclusion that she would have to go through another whole entire childhood in order to be productive.

Friday, July 21, 2006

The Mind of Me

This is not my first blog, I had one before but I had negativity mounting a campaign against me therefore I deleted months and months of poeticly profound literature so that I could be free of it all.

Today, I really don't have much to say. I got off work and went to a place to have a drink and I watched the most beautiful hispanic girl that I had ever seen dance to latin music. It was a pleasure to witness. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and occasionally, she gazed ino my eyes and let me know that she appreciated my attention. Why didn't I just walk over and introduce myself? 2 reasons, #1 I'm African-American and she wasn't (not that that has stopped me in the past) and #2 I'm married (not that that has stopped me in the past). I guess the real reason I didn't was because I am not really open to meeting new people. I didn't want to go through the exchange of phone numbers, the anxiety that is coupled with the contemplation of whether to call, the anticipitory feeling that accompanies the scenario of whether or not she will call. I'm sick and tired of all of that. It no longer excites me. And it's even worse if you're in a relationship because you begin to favor that person over your existing mate, and actully begin to long for her even when you're with the other person. I didn't want to go through that.

I know that I get attached to situtions easily and I know that I would have easily fallen for her. So I chose to admire her from afar. I don't think that there's any harm in that.

Much more later.

Black I