She's Not As Mad At You As You Think

I have the luxury of coming home for lunch everyday from work-I live about 3 minutes away. My routine usually consists of making a sandwich and watching about 45 minutes of the court shows-you know, Judge So-and-So. Today I was watching Judge Christina and there was a young girl who was suing the father of her child for the cost of diapers, formula, etc. This is pretty typical behavior of a certain ilk, but I'm not judging, just saying. The young lady made a comment that struck me as odd. Her baby looked like a newborn, she couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 months old. During the testimony, she lobbed an assault at the boyfriend and told him, "You don't care about the baby, you never ask how she is." I thought about that statement for a few seconds because it didn't really make any sense to me. I mean the baby is 4 months old-how altered could her existence be that someone would have to ask how she is? She just got here, and she's still got the wobbly neck and eliminates waste at the most inopportune times. Common sense tells us she'll be that way for quite some time. Furthermore, is there some list of behaviors that women have that informs them whether or not a man cares about his child? If so, I would like a copy so that I could rip it a new asshole. I don't know how many times I've heard women say, "He don't care 'bout this baby, he never calls." Never mind the fact that the baby's 1 year old. Yeah, I guess there are those who would consider a man who sits on the phone with a unintelligible baby for more than 2 seconds a loving father, I consider him an idiot. Besides, don't you have something better to do with your time, like earn a fucking living? I mean, come on, your family does have to eat don't they?

But back to the "You don't care about the baby" statement. First of all, that statement was not directed at her boyfriend, it was directed at her absentee father. That's right, you heard me, her father. She, in my opinion, is expressing the feelings of abandonment that she felt as a child. Think about it, the statement makes no sense. The baby isn't even a year old and already she's written him off as an uncaring father. Not to mention the fact that she put another man's name on the baby's birth certificate. What kind of retarded bullshit is that? You put another man's name on the baby's birth certificate and I'm supposed to act like you didn't. Someone please teach women the law of cause and effect. If you list someone else as the father, how the hell am I supposed to feel all cozy with the baby? Doesn't that cast even a slight suspicion of doubt? I just don't understand some women today. I'm required to behave in a certain manner and not deviate from that behavior no matter what you do. It's the same philosophy women have about men hitting them. They can hit you all they want, but a man's not supposed to hit a lady. I know we're not supposed to, but if you hit me, next week might be when you regain consciousness because in my book, you're not supposed to hit me either. And if our government can kill innocent men, women, and children all in the name of bringing democracy to a country that didn't ask for it, I can retaliate against someone who has struck me. Am I a woman beater? No, but I'll defend myself against anyone attempting to do me bodily harm-only a fool would do otherwise.

Men, when your women says some shit to you that, for the life of you, you have no idea where it came from-know that she really meant to say that to her dad; the man that abandoned she and her mom years ago and she's been waiting to make someone pay for that shit. And here comes your unknowing ass, all in love and looking to build a family with someone whose sole intention is to make you pay for some shit somebody else did to her. When she tells you If you love me you would... those are the things that she expected her father to do, but for whatever reason, he wasn't around to do them. Years and years of anger, frustration, hurt, feelings of unworthiness and abandonment have built up inside these women and when someone of the same gender as their dad shows them any attention, she lets you have all of that pent up emotion.

Think about it. A father is supposed to protect his daughter and make her feel safe. All she has is her mother-who is just as scared as she is. They are two frightened beings in a household unguarded by a male presence. Yeah, I know they yo all of that I don't need a man nonsense-and to a certain extent it's true....'til it gets dark. That fear sets in and anxiety builds. Sure, if there was an intruder you might be able to blow his head off, but you also know that having a male present in the home is often a deterrent. If you think about some of the behaviors of, okay I'm going to say it, black women, it's what frightened people do: loud talk-unnecessary bravado, quick to anger. All of that is to mask a fear of being alone in a world that is dangerous and, to a degree, unstable. Imagine being raised in an environment where there is constant fear. When a young woman finally grows up and gets with a man, there a sense of relief and a feeling of security-and then she gets mad because she never had that growing up and in ways she can't discern on her on, is asking you where you were when she was growing up. How come you didn't make her feel this way back then when she was 8 and frightened every night because she sensed that her mother was frightened as well and there was no security to be found-just fear as a constant companion. Not the way you want humans to grow up.

If there's one thing we can take from this as men, it's we have to stick around to raise our daughters. Why, because they grow up stable and feeling secure and in turn raise better men. One of our generations is going to have to bite the bullet and take the brunt of the black woman's anger. Yeah I know it wasn't you that made her feel this way, but it's going to be necessary that you pay the price for someone else's nonsense so we as a people can flip this thing back around. I'm guilty of not wanting to hear the bullshit and pay the price too-I walked out on plenty of them in my day. But I didn't know any better. Yes, she is mad, and she's scared, and she's insecure, and she overeats because she's denied all other creature comforts. We as men have got to do better by our women. We're denying them the one thing that Maslow said that we all need to develop into fully functioning human beings (see diagram below). In Maslow's theory, the needs on the very bottom rung of the hierarchy have to be met before the individual can advance to the next level. If a person doesn't have food, water and shelter, there's no way they can feel secure-which in turn means they can never advance to a level of love, so on and so forth. And many of us today are stunting our children's development by unknowingly denying them some basic needs necessary for development.



No wonder she acts a damned fool-she can't even ascend to the level of feeling love because she's too damned scared. There's too much knowledge out there for us not to turn this thing around as a people. In the very near future, we're going to need one another more that we've ever needed each other in the history of human existence. And if we don't begin to prepare now, while we have a little free time, we may be torn apart forever.

TPOKW

Responsibility

This is definitely going to be a random entry-but before you turn tail to go watch reruns of Seinfeld, read on, it'll be juicy. Wednesday night I was having a conversation with my youngest daughter's mom and she made a comment that I've heard before, but let slide. She mentioned something about all the shit I'd done to her. After I hung up the phone, I started thinking about that statement-what the hell is this bitch talking about?

I then devised a solution for this dilemma. She should write a list of all the shit I've done to her, and on the right hand side of that list write one of two words: Proactive or Reactive. I'll bet you the ratio would be 9:1 (9 R's to 1 P). I think what she, and most people fail to realize is sometimes you unthinkingly do or say things that set other things in motion. You don't recognize what you've done to precipitate the reaction, because most of us walk around mindlessly just doing shit. It often reminds me of a phrase I used to use when working in the music studio with friends: Like in a nuclear facility, there are no free buttons. You can't just go randomly pushing buttons in either a studio, or a nuclear facility without something occurring. Now of course the consequences of doing so in a nuclear facility are far more dire than doing so in a recording studio, but I think you get what I mean. If you don't, let me break it down to you in it's simplest form and then we'll work our way back up to the more complex.

Let's say you're sitting in your living room watching Living Single reruns, eating bon bons, and curled up in your favorite blanket. It's about 5 p.m. and you had the day off. All of sudden, the lights, T.V., and every other electrical appliance in your home ceases to function. First thing you do is peek out the window to see if anyone else lost power. You see the familiar glow or your neighbor's T.V. through her front window, so you know it's not a community problem-you power's been cut. You pick up the phone and dial Southern California Edison (or insert your local power company here) and you ask them if there is a problem. The rep politely replies Not on our end. But in the same breath she informs you that, since you didn't pay your bill, well, your service has been suspended, (I like when they use that word-it seems so courteous). Now you commence arguing about SCE's billing system-BUT WAIT!!!!! Did you pay your damn bill? What was that? You were going to but your boss didn't give you time off to go on that skiing trip so you shopped your ass off to make yourself feel better and figured you would postpone making the payment another 60 days. I have one question: Is there anything you've done in this scenario to precipitate the suspension of your electricity? AHH-AHH-AHH-wait, nothing about what your boss did, or about the power company, this question is directed at you and is solely about you. What was that? A little louder-did I hear you say you should have paid your damned bill? I thought that's what you said.

Now if this scenario was on my ex's list of offenses, she would have to scribble reaction. SCE reacted to you proactively not paying your bill. Are you all with me here? Good, now let's get back to my ex's imaginary list.

It would probably read something like this:

1. Cheated on me (R)
2. Tight with money (R)
3. Impatient (R)
4. Mean (R)

And I'm sure there are more but I don't want to bore you. The (R) would indicate the offense was a reaction on my part and not a proaction.

CHEATING

Ahh yes, a lady's choice. This is the one that women just love to tout as an irreconcilable offense. But let's take a closer look. Were you fucking your man or giving him the attention he needed from you? Or did you use your pussy as a weapon against him? Ladies, I'm going to highlight a well-known fact here. If you won't fuck your man, unless he's Quasimoto of hunchback fame, there is an entire community of women out there just waiting to fuck him for you. And I guarantee you some of them are either related to you, or shop with you, or party with you-you get my drift. I am going to say this publicly, lest someone one day says that they have not been warned: If I'm dating you, and you choose to use your pussy as a weapon, I will neutralize your attack by fucking somebody else-don't take it personal because I won't take it personal if you refuse to fuck me. Now if you're ill, having social, sexual, or mental difficulties I understand and the rule does not apply. But if you're being spiteful because you didn't like a comment I made, you'd better be prepared-I'm back into my hunter/gatherer mode.

This is a major difference between men and women. A man will fuck you even if he's angry you-to him it's like refusing to breath because you don't like hot days. If he's decided not to fuck you, you can pretty much figure he's done with you and whosoever you decide to fuck at this point, matters not to him.

TIGHT WITH MONEY

Your honor-guilty as charged. But why am I tight with money? Because you have to put money away for those times when the transmission goes out on your car, or you lose your job unexpectedly, or someone falls ill. Money is the lifeblood of this society and without it, you pretty much can wrap it up-you're done. Spending it frivolously will have you like the individual in the previously mentioned scenario. Besides, you don't need those new shoes anyway, you've got a closet full of them.

IMPATIENT

I stand accused. And that's because when I'm ready to do something, I'm ready to do it. Case and point-a couple of weeks ago, my ex and I took our daughter to her school's Fall Festival. My ex knew I would be at her house around 1 pm. When I arrived, I waited at almost 2 hours before we walked out the door. Now mind you, none of this was my idea-it was her idea to take our daughter together as caring parents-how could I refuse? But at least be ready when I arrive. If you know I'm impatient, why test my impatience? Secondly, the very next day when I was bringing my daughter back to her house, I told her I would have her back around 3 p.m. I get a call around 2:30 informing me that no one would be home 'til 7 or 8 p.m. Now, mind you, I'm already on my way. Why wasn't I informed of this the day before when we discussed when I was bringing her back? Or maybe a few hours earlier? I believe I've justified the (R).

MEAN

Most people who know me personally know that, by nature, I'm a kind and warm-hearted person. But make no mistake, I can be meaner than a rattle snake on hot desert sand if you push-and you really don't have to push too hard. My ex has pushed me and sometimes without realizing she's pushing me-because like I mentioned earlier, some people go through life unconscious of the moves they make and the consequences of those moves. When I interface with people like this, I usually make concessions. The only problem then is, if the consequences haven't occurred because I've preempted the action, I'm painted mean. Once my ex told me that I was stingy. My reply to her was, "Yeah, and you're broke-you decide which you'd rather be." I know it sounds harsh and I'm such a bad man, but my responsibility is to make sure that my family has all of what it needs-now and in the future. And if that means I have to be stern and frugal, I'd rather be considered mean and stingy than to sit at home wondering when SCE is going to turn my lights back on.

In a lot of ways I'm a no-nonsense guy. I like to have fun like the next guy, but not the expense of food, shelter, and necessary amenities like electricity. Have I been irresponsible in my day? Yes, there were times when I fucked around and didn't pay bills on time-but I never complained when my shit got cut off, because I distinctively remember tossing that final notice in the trash the day it arrived in the mail. So who's really to blame? Hell, they even sent the notice on bright pinkish-red paper, how could I miss it? And the excuse I usually get is, "Well, you even said that you were irresponsible at one time. Give me time to correct my mistakes-like you had." Let's say your traveling down the main thoroughfare in your fair city and you cross over into the path of a semi truck-how much time would you like to correct your mistake? If you're aware you're making errors, why prolong correcting them? This is what my mother refers to as trifling. And it's also what sometimes makes me unpopular with women I date-I will highlight an area that is in need of correcting-and I hope you will do the same for me. Because I hope you're not telling this to berate me, I hope you're telling me out of love and the want for the both of us not to have to dig ourselves out of a hole.

As I mentioned in my opening, this was going to be random-I guess I'm just venting. But hopefully you've all gleaned something of use from my rant.

TPOKW

The Pu**y Hunt

I was on my way home today from a weekend with my youngest daughter and I began to think about the beautiful bond that she and I have. I had deep reservations about becoming a father again, but that was 6 years ago and I have an obligation to be a father to her-no questions asked. But it's not a one-way street, spending time with her is more rewarding to me than words could ever express. But I can't help to think that if I was the pussy hunting type, I might not take my obligation to her so seriously.

Some of the men that I know, and some that I don't but hear in conversation, are truly on the hunt for pussy. I'm not saying that I haven't been in my day, because God knows I've hunted (and captured). But there was always a caveat-if you were someone who proved themselves to be a decent human being, there was always a chance that our encounter could evolve. In fact, some of my casual tryst did evolve into relationships-some of them even long-term. I never looked at a woman as just pussy-I was always prepared to take her in her entirety. I've slammed black women in the past about their present behavior, but it's time to speak to black men. I don't know what came first, the attitude of black women, or us reducing them to just pussy. Who doesn't want to be loved in their entirety? And if pride is to be found in the hit & run, why wouldn't we as a community end up where we are now? Black women raising our children alone. It isn't fair to black women, nor is it fair to our children. And as quiet as it's kept, it's not fair for black men to do this to themselves.

I liken this whole thing to a relay race-once a runner completes his leg, he passes the baton to his teammate and then he runs his leg until the race is complete. But when runners drop the baton, the entire sequence gets out of whack. Now I'm not excluding myself from this chastising. I too am guilty. Seeing my kid on the weekend and during holidays doesn't cut it. I witness the anguish in my daughter every time I walk out that door-she cries and sometimes has to be restrained in order for me to leave. Not only does that hurt me, it has to be destroying her inside. Not only does her mother and I not see eye to eye, we don't even use the same body parts to see. But I would seriously consider reconciling with her for my daughter's sake. I would make that sacrifice-I know it would be a miserable existence, but that would be a suffering I would deserve. My daughter doesn't deserve this pain.

I know I'm breaking ranks by saying this, but we men have to grow up and stop reducing women to just pussy. And we wonder why they walk around with their asses and titties hanging out-that seems to be all that we're interested in. I'm not saying all of us, but we all know that there is a badge of honor bestowed upon the ones that get the most pussy. That is such an adolescent view of manhood and I wish we could do away with it.

I can honestly say that I wasn't on a pussy hunt when my daughter was conceived. I had been in an off and on relationship with her mother for almost 8 years. But if I had a chance to do it all over again, I would have married her the moment she told me that she was pregnant. To hell with whether or not we got along. What happened to the men that manned up when a child was conceived? Back in the day, you dropped out of high school and got to earning a living for your family. I know that opportunities for drop outs are far less these days, but I was a college graduate when my daughter was conceived. If I had a chance to do it all over again, I would do it differently.

To the men out there (and you know who I'm talking about) who stuck by and through all the madness to be a father to your children, I commend you. Those of you who put your petty personal wants and needs aside to be husbands to your wives, parents to your children, and upstanding members of your community-I wish we could bottle and sell whatever it was that kept you in place-even when you felt that you weren't being appreciated by your mate, you stuck it out.

Sometimes I wish I was half the man.

TPOKW

Introducing...The One

A Lesson for Those Who'll Listen

Last night I received a phone call from my soon-to-be ex-wife and that's usually the case when I begin thinking about how she's doing-she always calls. I allowed her to express herself a bit more last night-normally I don't allow the conversations to stray past 2 or 3 minutes. Other than the veiled references to suicide, I was glad I allowed her the opportunity to get things off her chest.

As most of you regular readers know, there was an incident shortly before our break up that landed me in the slammer for 4 days. She threw a dinner plate at me causing a deep laceration on my back, and I did what any attacked individual would do, retaliated. Right decision in the animal kingdom, wrong in a world of individuals who consider themselves above the rest of life forms. While locked up, my wife took a $5400 check belonging to me, found a way to cash it and kept the money.

I had but one question for my s.t.b. ex-wife: didn't you realize everything you did subsequent to hitting me with the dinner plate almost guaranteed there would be no reconciliation? Her response to me was, "I thought you would forgive me." For the past 16 hours, I've pondered her response. I don't know who's at fault for her believing I would forgive her. It is hers for being foolish enough to believe that harming people is forgivable? Or is it mine for setting unrealistic expectations by forgiving so many of her past transgressions?

Here is where forgiveness gets tricky and why it should not be toyed with. The forgiver is placed in a position whereby if he/she forgives the first transgression, they open themselves up to being transgressed again (because the transgressor might believe that forgiveness is the order of the day). If the forgiver decides not to forgive and separate from the would-be forgivee, they might overlook what might have been an obvious mistake on the part of said forgivee. Either way, it is the forgiver who is always the individual with the most to lose. The would-be forgivee gambled when they decided to transgress, and deserves to be in a position to lose something. The innocent always pays the higher price.

This is why I try to live by a philosophy and have done so for many years. I believe wholeheartedly in First do no harm. That basically means that I will never harm you if you do not harm me. But I believe I am in need of modifying my mantra, Never do harm. With my first belief, I always allowed myself the luxury of harming you if you harmed me. Doing so meant I stayed in contact with you, otherwise how else would I be able to do you harm? With the updated version, immediately when I am violated, you are jettisoned from my life. I'll never have to do you harm, and you'll never be in a position to harm me again. I know this sounds all Zen and flowery, but don't get it twisted-I will harm someone if they make me. And the membrane between someones safety and someone being harmed is extremely thin. My advice to people is not to toy with it.

In some ways, I feel so responsible for where my wife is today. Had I just left in the beginning when things went extremely south in the extreme beginning, she wouldn't be in so much pain. But in a macabre sort of way, I knew that her pain would be severe when we separated, and I did nothing to spare her-even though I knew leaving her in the beginning would have done just that. In some ways she deserves it because she was given so many opportunities to make our marriage a success. I, in no way, feel that I have an obligation to teach her a lesson-that is not what this is all about. I've separated and will be divorcing her for my own protection and sanity, not to cause her pain. Quite frankly I wish she would find someone else and move on. I wish she could forget about me and not be in such a miserable state-for her own sake. I don't need her to suffer in order for me to heal. My healing is an independent process and I am happy to report is progressing smoothly. I know that I did my best, I know that's all anyone can do and when you can't do anymore, you move on.

I hope that she makes it through this and learns that forgiveness is not to be toyed with. It's not a get out of jail free card. It should be reserved for those situations when you've made a seriously grave error in judgment-not for premeditated acts of aggression with the hopes that someone with a good heart will show you sympathy. And I hope the message hits home for those of you reading too-forgiveness is divine, but not required.

TPOKW

P.S. I still love her.....

The Good Book

It's approximately 6 a.m. on the west coast and many of our people around the world are either preparing to attend one of many religious congregations around the globe for spiritual enlightenment. Be you Christian, Muslim, or Jew, black people have always been beholden to a higher power. Most of us draw strength from what is referred to as The Good Book. Well this morning I was awakened with a message that I thought I should share with you.

At approximately 5:18 a.m. I heard what sounded like the ring of a cellular phone-but it wasn't. I keep my phone on vibrate, and I live alone. As I lay in darkness trying figure out where that sound came from, the following message popped into my head.

Let's say we were playing a game of Monopoly, the popular board game invented by Milton Bradley almost a century ago. As we all know, there are rules to the game, and many of us can play the game without consorting the rule book. We all know you must own three properties of like color prior to buying houses, and there are a certain amount of houses you must purchase before you are able to purchase hotels. Common knowledge when it comes to Monopoly, correct? I knew you all would agree with me. Let's say we are playing Monopoly and someone decides to play by a different set of rules that gave them an advantage, what would you do? Most of us would either quit in protest, or begin to modify our style of play to level the playing field. This is a simple board game, and it wouldn't take long before we adopted a new agenda in order to remain competitive. So why is it we haven't done the same thing in real life? We've been living according to a book, told to us to be the word of God, for centuries now, and no one else is playing by those rules. In fact, some black people have convinced themselves that they are abiding by the book, when in fact they are not-and that is worse than abandoning the book altogether.

We all need spiritual guidance to a certain extent. But if you look at the religious congregations in our neighborhoods (especially the ones in major cities), some of them are the epitome of opulence. They profess to be pillars in our communities, but pillars of what? They haven't managed to rid our communities of drugs, prostitution, gambling, child neglect, gang violence. They profess to be the way, but they are about as effective to the ills of our community as penicillin is to HIV. Yet we migrate to them every Sunday morning to be administered a placebo that not only hasn't healed us, but has done us far greater harm than it has ever helped. We've been paralyzed by the message and rendered useless by the Good Book.

Rarely do you find me in one of their houses of worship, but I recently, out of love for my family, attended the baptism of my 6 year old niece. During the ceremony, I noticed during the multi-media presentation projected on the jumbotron, several quotes from several different versions of the bible. I found this to be strikingly odd. There's the King James Version of the bible, the New King James Version, the New American Standard Version, and the list goes on. Why the need for so many versions, and which now is to be considered the good book? In my opinion, they are all interpretations of the word of a God none of us has ever seen or heard. Yeah, yeah, I've heard the bullshit about he's known through his works, but why does He choose to be so ethereal and mysterious? It sounds like cruel and unusual game. In my summation of this whole religious fiasco, here's what I've gathered: There's this God who creates all the heavens and the earth, by himself without assistance from man. Then he creates man, and now needs him to help him spread his word. Never mind the fact that I have this ingenious system of passing down genetic traits, I am going to have you exist for centuries without knowing or spreading my word until you can devise this thing called a book to spread my word with. Huh? Come again? That makes about as much sense as me creating you without feet, and then one day you devise a pair, and me, God, give you a pair of shoes and say, "I've been holding these for you until you found a way to make feet."

Furthermore, I'm going to surround you with so much death and destruction, AND subject you to all sorts of abuses and then tell you that it wouldn't happen to you if you walked with me. Or, this is my way of showing you my abilities. That doesn't sound like the God with the angels and the harps and the like to me. That sounds like that other guy with resort south of heaven that is hot like Arizona, but hotter.

God has no use for man-made books. There are no books needed for the changing of the seasons; no books needed for the ebb and flow of the ocean; no books needed for the cycle of life-it all happens without the need of a good book. And wouldn't the notion that there is a good book indicate the fact that there's also a bad book floating around somewhere out there. There have been so many historical translations and edits to the supposed word of God, most of which have been altered to serve the needs of a certain unsavory ilk. It was said that King James had a scripture removed because he felt that it was the very scripture that promoted the death of his mother, Mary Queen of Scots. Now if he's adding and removing scripture based upon personal preference, how close can this be to the word of God?

It seems as though, in this day and age, we would have come out of the foggy haze that has seemed to have clouded our God-given common sense. If this is the same book that the raping, murdering, thieving, slave masters read and quoted daily...how holy can it be? Or maybe it is holy in it's edited state. Maybe no one is using it as a rule book any longer. And if this is the case, why do we pretend to do so as well? Let's cut the fucking shit and call a spade a spade. If you're drinking yourself into a stupor and fornicating like rabbits Saturday night, and then stumbling your worthless ass into church the next morning thinking that you're making amends for you unrighteous behavior, you're not fooling anyone but yourself. If there is a God, do you think he's going to give it shit that your blasphemous ass was in church Sunday morning when you were in an orgy Saturday night? If I were He, my answer would be no. Am I against drinking, fornicating, and promiscuity? No, I've probably at one time and in one form or fashion participated in it all. But I'm against those who straddle the fence professing to be one thing but practicing another. Furthermore, you have no concern for your community. You are just there (in church) to make amends for your frivolousness. Wait, wait, wait-wait a fucking minute. It just hit me. The purpose of the Church is no longer to help the community-it's sole purpose now is to make you feel less guilty about your wanton behavior. Ahhh, it makes sense to me now. No wonder the church hasn't been effective in curing the communities ills, it's like a personal bank account whereby customers go in to manage their diminutive accounts, ignoring the fact that the combined total of those accounts yields more power than they do existing individually. Ok, so then the assertion I made once about curing the ills in the black community was correct. I would get rid of about 10 percent of the population. Take that to mean whatever you wish, 10 percent of you would be gone-more if was necessary. Because you're only out for self and your community as a whole means nothing to you.

The Roman Catholic Church once fell under scrutiny for selling passes into heaven. Yeah, imagine that, man turning passage to heaven into a e-ticket ride at Disneyland. This whole thing disgust me in the worst of ways. My hatred and contempt for its very existence burns a hole in me the size of Tokyo. Professing to be pious while you mislead, murder, torture, and abuse people conjures up feelings inside of me that are indescribable. And to know that, at this very minute, millions of you sit in silence listening to worthless banter about changing your ways and honoring God, when the messenger is corrupt, and what you intend to do with the message is even more incorrigible causes me to weep for humanity. And you wonder why "God" off's so many of us throughout the history of the bible-we just can't steer clear of our sheep mentality. We refuse to use the brain God gave us to know when we've deviated from the path.

If there is a good book, we'd never see it-and if we did, we wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. It would probably contain too much information that would cause us to have to do something that resmembled personal reformation, and who has time for that? For the sake of my children and, hopefully one day, my grandchildren, I hope that the eyes of the masses are opened and we dispense with the idol worship and get back to the root of true religion. Our lives weren't meant to be lived so meaninglessly.

TPOKW?

Footnote-In my research for this posting (yes, I do research sometimes), I discovered that the latin version of the bible used was called the Vulgate. The word seemed too close to the word vulgar for me to ignore the similarities so I looked up the two words and this is what I've found.

Vulgate |ˈvəlˌgāt; -gət| noun 1 the principal Latin version of the Bible, prepared mainly by St. Jerome in the late 4th century, and (as revised in 1592) adopted as the official text for the Roman Catholic Church. 2 ( vulgate) [in sing. ] formal common or colloquial speech : I required a new, formal language in which to address him, not the vulgate. 3 ( vulgate) the traditionally accepted text of any author. ORIGIN from Latin vulgata (editio) ‘(edition) prepared for the public,’ feminine past participle of vulgare, from vulgus ‘common people.’

vulgar |ˈvəlgər| adjective lacking sophistication or good taste; unrefined : the vulgar trappings of wealth. • making explicit and offensive reference to sex or bodily functions; coarse and rude : a vulgar joke. • dated characteristic of or belonging to the masses. DERIVATIVES vulgarity |ˌvəlˈgaritē| noun ( pl. -ties) vulgarly adverb ORIGIN late Middle English : from Latin vulgaris, from vulgus ‘common people.’ The original sense was [used in ordinary calculations] (surviving in vulgar fraction ) and [in ordinary use, used by the people] (surviving in vulgar Latin and vulgar tongue ).

For those of you who may have difficulty grasping the point, I'll make it clear to you-those in charge of instructing you about God looked down upon you. The text used to instruct you about religion was edited for your consumption. How much of your best interest could they have taken to heart if you were considered beneath them. If you question any of this, look at how the Roman Catholic Church treated the indigenous people of the Americas when first they arrived. Wake up people.

The Man Who Copied

Okay, those of you who know me know that I am a closet hopeless romantic. My tear ducts have been known to become active during a good movie. Like most men, I have the tough exterior that makes you think I eat pig iron for breakfast and urinate molten steel-but in reality, I'm a softy when it comes to a good love story. And since I'm uber-single these days, my Friday nights are usually spent perched in a chair in front of ye ole big screen, alone, with a bowl of popcorn and a Blockbuster rental. Well tonight was no different. Well, actually, it was. I'm known for my love of just about anything Brazilian. I love Samba and Astrud Gilberto. I listen to real Brazilian samba in Portugese and I don't have the slightest clue what the hell they are singing about, but the spirit touches my soul at its very depths. Tonight, I took a chance on a Brazilian DVD titled, O Homem Que Copiava (The Man Who Copied), and did I strike gold!

It was a little slow starting out-I don't know how much excitement you can generate around a 20 year old photocopy machine operator, but as the movie progressed, they managed to get a beautiful love story out of it all. Without getting all Two Thumbs Up on you, I would give the movie the all 20 digit's up! The characters are well developed and vibrant in their own way. The main character, Andre, is, as I mentioned before, a photocopy machine operator. I don't think I have to illustrate for anyone how mundane an existence that must be. We've all, at one time or another, made a photo copy of a document. And we all know it's as about as exciting as folding clothes. Well, poor Andre has to eek out a living doing just that. The only excitement to his job comes in the form of Marinês, his hot Brazilian co worker who professes at one point in the movie that she doesn't wear panties. Now I don't know if this was by choice, or if it's because of financial constraints-either way, Marinês is fucking hot and the thought of her not wearing panties caused quite a stir in my nether-regions.

Anyway, Andre too lusts after Marinês, but his heart lies with Silvia, the young girl he spies on with binoculars (that incidentally took him one year to save for), from his apartment across the street from hers. Both love birds live with a parent; Andre, with his mother, whom you don't get a good glimpse of 'til the end of the movie, and Silvia with her father, a perverted excuse of a man who steals money from her purse and peaks through the key hole at her while she showers.

Lastly, there is Cardoso, the self-proclaimed antique dealer and wanna-be love interest of Marinês. When we are introduced to Cardoso (he caries around a cell phone that I don't think works), he seems to be the stereotypical big fish in a little pond, but we later discover his career in antiques is about as legitimate as Fred Sanford's.

I won't go into a complete review of the movie, but suffice it to say that there are twists and turns that will have your mouth gaping and your hands itching to applaud. American critics didn't receive it with open arms, and I might have a few theories explaining why. #1-if you don't come from a poor country, it's difficult to understand the motivation of said residents. #2-the lead character is as dark as I am-his love interest isn't-'nuff said. White America isn't too comfortable with humans possessing differing skin tones hooking up and I'm sure this rubbed a few white men the wrong way.

Nevertheless, I found the rental quite entertaining and would rank it amongst my top 40 all time favorites. The only problem with a rave review is that it sets ultra-high expectations and rarely can a movie, or any attraction, live up to the expected excitement level that can be created in one's imagination. But I recommend you all check out the movie, it's a glimpse into where most of us live, whether we care to admit it or not.

If you don't like it, I'll gladly refund the money I spent on the rental (read that extremely careful-it ain't legalese, but it's close).

TPOKW?