Monday, September 25, 2006

What's It Like?

I came home today for lunch and looked at my wife sitting on the couch. I spoke and she barely nodded her head. I began to think, "What's it like to come home to a woman that's happy to see you?" I don't what that's like-can't say that I ever have (that I can remember). It's best to be alone, I think.

When my youngest daughter stays with me, it feels good when I come home because she greets me at the door with the biggest "DADDY" that a man could ever want. I have to say that it's the highlight of my day. The joys of fatherhood are worth all the shit I put up with her Mom. My wife is not a very happy person generally. Me, I'm always happy. Always smiling, always laughing, and this place is such a downer. I really would like to see it change, but I guess deep down inside, I know it won't.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Kanye for President

I have to admit that I didn't have much respect for Kanye West, both as an artist and as a human being until he spoke out during Katrina. It wasn't until after his bold and brash statement about Bush that I actually stood up and took notice. Subsequently I purchased (ok downloaded after purchasing) his sophomore project (can't call it a cd or album any longer). I already had his first one but rarely listened to it. I didn't give him much credit but when he opened his mouth and exercised his right to free speech, I stood and applauded him. His statement wasn't very profound (almost childlike if you ask me), but he stuck his neck out for his people and paid a price.

I recently saw him on television and he admitted that he lost endorsements behind his statement. The first thing I thought was how fucking un-American until I reminded myself that that was American. Having a system whereby you tell people that they have the freedom to do something but punish them for doing it is, and has been, America since the beginning. It is why we can have this document that clearly states that all men are created equal and then you tarnish the legitimacy of the document by amending it claiming that certain men aren't men afterall-just 3/5 of a man. HUH?

I think that every black person in the country should buy his next release twice. Let's make him the biggest selling artist since the Beatles. I don't care if he records a project farting for 30 minutes-we should pick it up. Better yet, we should implore him to do something totally independent like write a script and shoot a movie. I don't care if it's crap, we buy 2 DVD's a piece and see it as many times as we can. This way, all of the money goes into his pocket and not the record company's. If you don't have the extra cash, you can take it out of the 10% we've been giving the church for centuries, and they haven't done a damn thing to improve our communities.

If we don't do this, how will we ever encourage others in influential positions to stand up for the masses of black people that suffer every single day in this country? In the 60's when Muhammad Ali took a stand against the Vietnam War, every black person in America should have kept the man in the lap of luxury. We should have donated en masse to help him financially. He was a living hero amongst us. It is up to us to let our people know that if they represent us, we will support them. It is a 2-way street you know. If Kanye lost an endorsement deal, the company that dropped him should lose the entire black community as customers. If it's Nike, we don't purchase another pair of Nikes until Kanye's contract is reinstated AND he's compensated double for every penny he lost during the time that his contract was nullified. If we don't come together as a people, we will be picked apart.

Let's do what we can to help our brother out. He was the proverbial David that went up against Goliath-has hasn't defeated him yet, but with our help perhaps he can.

The Prince

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Most of Us Wouldn't Get Along With God

It always amazes me how people talk about the glory of God but can't get along with individuals right here on earth. Especially those who don't like anyone telling them what to do. For those of us who didn't get along well with our parents or bucked authority, definitely won't get along with God. I mean, come on, he's the ultimate in authority-the GRAND parent. If your parents wouldn't let you lay around the house as an adult and not work, what makes you think God's gonna have you just kicking it up in heaven drinking all the milk and eating all the honey. You don't get more power and authority than God. For those of you who don't like your boss telling you what time to get to work, God and you are going to have MAJOR problems.

You women who God told specifically to obey your husbands won't be able to put your neck on a swivel, close your eyes and waive your finger in God's face. "My Daddy don't talk to me like that" won't work with God. When he tells you to cook something to eat, you'd better not give him any lip-once dead, you only have two choices of residency-and I don't think I have to tell you what they are. Once God divorces you, there won't be any alimony, no getting half-just straight to hell you go. I'm sure you'll love your new husband.

I think the people who will have the biggest problem with God are Christians themselves. God doesn't care too much for vilifying people because they're different and Christians are notorious for telling you you're going to hell. What makes them think that they are God's chosen? God never told them to tell anyone they were going to hell. That's some shit they made up on their own. When God can create the heavens and the earth in 6 days, why the hell does he need some semi-intelligent half-wit talking for him? I'd say not. But yet, they continue to speak for God. God will punish you they say. How do they know. And what about all the back stabbing, back sliding, and back biting that Christians are notorious for? How do they think God will like that?

If there is a God, the majority of us will find ourselves expelled from heaven. St. Peter (whom I believe is as fictitious as Santa Claus) might as well install a revolving door at the pearly gates because just as many people come in, even more will be leaving.

The Prince

Monday, September 18, 2006

Destiny

I guess I'm old enough to know that one cannot escape one's destiny but hope springs eternal. My band played at the Cotton Club in Long Beach CA both last Friday and Saturday. I've been trying to get my neighbor (one of the most beautiful women I know), to come to one of my performances for the past 2 years. I went down on Friday, handed her a flyer and asked that she come one of the nights.

Friday night was really slow. There was maybe about 10 people in the entire club. But Saturday night was unbelieveably great! The club was packed. We were a quarter of the way through our first set and guess who walks through the door looking as stunning as ever? My neighbor. I nod acknowledging her entrance and we finish our first set. I walk over to she and her date and thank her for coming. She stands and gives me this big hug which I'll never forget because we've never had physical contact before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those hopeless romantics that gawk over a woman from a distance hoping that one day we'll be together. But If you saw this woman, you'd understand.

After our second set, she and I met at the bar and began small talk. She began to talk about my wife's rude behavior, and then she brought up my stepson. Apparently he'd entered her apartment without permission one day while she was asleep and was caught leaving with a skateboard that belonged to my neighbor's son. When I heard this I was shocked and I explained to her that when she has problems, to talk to me-my wife isn't the best disciplinarian.

This evening I decided to talk to my stepson (age 9) about his behavior. Part of the way through the conversation, his mother pipes in and begins to mitigate his behavior with excuses. This enraged me. I've told her on several occasions that she enables him by doing this but she continues to do it anyway. It went from a disciplinary session between me and her son, to an all out argument between she and I. She told me that he wasn't the only one in the house. I told her that the neighbor told me that it was her son, no one else. And even if there was someone else, he has no business going inside someone else's house without permission. My wife began blaming the other kids and saying that her son was following other people. I asked her who was he following we he was alone in his bathroom and lit the trash can on fire? She said that we weren't talking about that-of course we weren't but as I pointed out to her, it was the same damn child.

We argued a bit more and I went to the laundry room to put my clothes in the dryer. On my way it hit me. Why am I trying to save this child from his destiny. Who am I to believe that I can change the course of his future? Especially when his mother interferes. Sadly, she is condemning her son to a life of crime I believe. But what can I expect? She's from a line of them herself. And though she isn't technically a criminal, she's definitely done her share of under the table shit.

I know it appeared that this was going to be an entry about my neighbor and I getting together for wild passionate sex, but sadly it's about a child who is heading down a path that neither I nor anyone can save him from. He is almost illiterate and has severe behavior problems. I've managed to get him to a point where he is in control of himself, but that only lasts when I'm in his presence. When I'm away, he does what he wants. He consistently hits neighborhood children but always insists it's an accident. And his mother always blames the other kid for being a sissy. My sister saw him hit his sister on Labor Day and he lied and said it was an accident. She stood there and watched him walk up to her and hit her. His mother just lets him get away with it. One day I came home from work and he was outside playing but his homework wasn't done. Now mind you, this is a boy that can barely read or write. I asked her what he was doing outside if his homework wasn't done and she said that she didn't know. NO EXCUSE IN MY BOOK!

I had decided long ago that this blog wasn't going to be about my wife and her nonsense anymore, but this one just set me off today. When I told her I was done she said it wasn't fair-HUH? What do you mean it's not fair? I don't get that logic. I guess if you understood insanity, it wouldn't be insanity.

The Prince

Friday, September 15, 2006

Seek and Ye Shall Find

The other night I was fast asleep and at about 4 am my wife wakes me up and asks me if I'm sleeping around. I found the question strange for 2 reasons:

1. It was 4 a.m.
and
2. I've informed her long ago who I sleep with is my business. I don't tell her what to do with her pu**y so don't tell me what to do with my d*ck.

But for some reason she pursued this line of questioning. She was being extremely persistent in her approach so I began to wonder if she'd come across some information. Sure enough, she had been through all the emails on my laptop. There was nothing that would lead her to believe that I was fucking around-just emails to a few people venting about our problems. I have to admit that I said some very harsh things about her. But I pointed out to her that these things I've said to her face. Still it hasn't stopped her from keeping me up late at nights as she fusses at me and cries.

I told her that with all of the things that we've gone through, how did she expect me to feel. I also pointed out to her that she has said some very negative things about me to her family and friends. When I wasn't working (even though I was still paying all of the bills), she would say some very damaging things about me to her friends and family. All the while I was paying 90% of the bills with money from the sale of my house. One of her friends, who was also the babysitter of her kids, once got funky with me and said some things about me being lazy to the kids. I kindly told my wife to check her friend before I brought a shit storm down on her. I don't like to use my resources against people but I don't mind, especially when they are defrauding the government by working under the table and getting welfare.

My wife has done so much damaging shit and she somehow expects me not to be bitter about them. I'm not saying that I'm an angel because I'm not. But what I can say is all of the negative things I've done in this relationship has been in response to shit that she's done. And for some reason, she doesn't think that matters. I told her last night that we shouldn't be talking about the things I said but why I said them. That is more important. It's not as though I'm just schizophrenic and talk bad about people because of a mental illness. I've talked to my wife time and time again about her behavior. We've sat down and come up with contingency plans on how to handle situations and arguments and when we get into the situation, she never complies.

I could go on and on about how foul she's been but that's not even important. I picked her, married her, and now is not the time to complain about how and who she is. That would be irresponsible on my part. I have no excuses. But I wish she would assume responsibility for her own actions and perhaps she would see how she can contribute to making our lives better.

Last night I told her that I didn't regret the things that I said and I wasn't sorry. Had she never read my emails without my permission she wouldn't have found out that way. Not only that, if she would listen to me when I talk to her instead of trying to find something to say back, she wouldn't be surprised. She feels embarrassed that I told people how she behaves. She likes to do her dirt in darkness but in light of other people's opinions she likes to pretend that all things are well.

Now before you all get judgmental on me about my comment about sleeping with whomever I choose, let me first say that you would need to walk one step in my shoes to understand why I feel this way. I decided when I was 19 dating my very first serious adult girlfriend, that I had no control over what she did when I was away. I found myself wondering if she was sleeping around when I was at work. After a couple of months of worrying about it, I just decided that I had only a tacit agreement with her regarding who she fucked. Married people stray and I didn't want to have unrealistic expectation regarding the relationship. We were just dating and if she decided she wanted to fuck someone else, what grounds (legal or otherwise) did I have to stop her? None. So I just stopped caring. I would have preferred her not fuck around, but if she did, I wasn't losing my head over it. I had better things to worry about.

I still feel that way today. And since there has a been a bout of infidelity on my wife's part (a month after we married), I made it clear that our marriage is one that no longer requires my fidelity. I love sex and variety. And if I vow to give it up to have sex with one person for the rest of my life, you'd better appreciate that because that is a huge sacrifice for an animal that was designed to mate with as many suitors he could get his hands on. Sorry people, you can go with all the man made-up shit you want to but the fact of the matter is males were meant to procreate with as many females they can get their hands on. Nature mandates it. It ensures the survival of the species. It always fascinates me how we make up shit thinking that we are smarter than our creator and Her design. Like I've always said in the past, you can put 100 men and 1 woman on an Island, come back in 100 years and you'll have 101 corpses. Put 100 women on an Island with 1 man and you can come back in 100 years and you will have a burgeoning society. I didn't design it that way, that's just the way it is. If you can argue against that last statement, then you probably shouldn't visit my blog anymore because I truly won't have one iota of respect for anything you say. The logic in that philosophy is undeniable. There's a reason why a man can impregnate an unlimited amount of females-nature needs it that way.

Now I will agree that it isn't a wise thing to do-but we have to remember that there are animals that risk life and limb to procreate. The male praying mantis (insect) actually dies during the act of copulation. The urge to procreate is greater than our will to live! Why? Because nature just needs you to continue doing so-not continue living, but to procreate. Once you've done so, you're just occupying space here. You're clearly in the way. I know it's hard to see yourselves in that light, but think about-if you died tomorrow, would the universe cease to exist? Would the sun stop shining? The wind stop blowing? The ocean discontinue to ebb and flow? No. The only difference is you won't be here. And the based upon the planetary population, less that .00000000000000001% of the world's population will ever even know that you've been here. If you're that significant wouldn't something happen? Wouldn't the sun at least stop shining for a while?

What does all of this have to do with my wife reading my emails? Nothing, I just go out on a tangent every now and again. And I appreciate you all going there with me.

The Prince

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Band Aid

Friday we had one of our weekly gigs at the Cotton Club West in Long Beach and two of our members showed up very late. I was the one that negotiated this gig at the club so of course the owner wanted to speak to me. He wanted to know why we wasn't able to go on 'til 11:00 pm. Not only did we lose money, (the owner let everyone in free-what's the use of charging when there isn't a band playing?), (I) we lost credibility. The man's trying to run a business and here we are not being able to show up and perform on time-I was livid. I found an inanimate object (a rather large yellow flashlight) in the parking lot and destroyed it! There was a time when I was known for my temper but those days have long since departed. But at least during those times no one played with me. As I've aged, people have known me more for my cool head-but Friday I tried my best to damage that reputation. If being cool gets me in trouble, I don't want to have anything to do with it. I don't care what you're doing or who you are playing for, it will not take precedence over whatever it is that I'm doing. If you are supposed to play with my band, be there or be replaced.

Some people have a problem with following orders but everything that is worth anything in life abide's by a set of rules. For instance if you're flying from Los Angeles to New York, there are rules. First of all, the plane had better leave at a certain time. Secondly, the crew has to abide by a certain set of rules otherwise they cannot fly. I don't think any of us would travel via airline if there weren't stringent rules and if we expect everyone else to abide by stringent guidelines why can't we abide by those guidelines ourselves. That is how we achieve near perfection.

With that said, there will be some changes within Wisdom Soul. Either we get the dedication that I'm looking for or I'll find members that will follow suit. I'm not the best vocalist, guitarist, or front man. But I'm dedicated and I am always looking to improve. I expect the same from everyone else. This is a business and either we conduct it like one or those who wish to can go back to garage band status. I'll find the unit that will BE ON TIME!!!

Enough said on this subject...Y'all, COME OUT AND SEE WISDOM SOUL. And check out our latest photos at jerryli.comand click on Richard's Band.

See You At The Next Show!!!