Older Men

I guess I'm what one would consider an older man now. I'm 43, I'm married to a woman 16 years my junior and I am normally physically attracted to younger women-I still look like I'm in my late 20's, early 30's and often find that women in their 30's look older than me. I once met a 35 year old woman at a concert. We exchanged numbers and, at a later date met for coffee. When she asked my age I told her and was forced to show ID because she didn't believe me. I admit she looked older than me, but I now assume that if a woman looks about my age, she's probably about 5-10 years younger. She told me that she was prepared to teach this young boy right out of college a thing or two. After I proved I was older than her, she kept looking at me like I was that Wayans brother in Little Man.

Last Friday I met a young lady about 25. She too assumed I was around her age. She's asked me 3 times since meeting me how old I am. I don't know if it's disbelief or if this woman has been hit in the head too many times and has lost her short-termed memory. I have to admit that it is a very awkward situation, but I'm not quite sure what to do. I'm not physically attracted to women who haven't aged well and I'm not mentally attracted to younger girls. My life has always been faced with these types of dilemmas.

Nowadays if you're a man my age and you pursue anyone south of 35 you're considered a dirty old man-UNLESS you've got Trump money-and then women don't want to judge you because one day they might just want to hook up with a rich older guy one-no sense in preempting those options. But if you make below $1 million a year, well you're a cradle robber. Never once do you hear anything about Russell Simmons and his child bride, Donald Trump and his baby (literally), Tom Cruise and his pre-teenie princess. Hell if you're a rich man, you can even marry your adopted daughter when she becomes of age (Woody Allen anyone). With that kind of money, age is a number alright, but it's measured in millions. You never hear women complain about these pairings because, hell, just about any 20-something woman would gladly jump at the chance to hook up with The Don (Trump that is). And why is it that no one EVER made a peep about 27 year old Ashton hooking up with 42 year old Demi? Because when a woman is in the dawn of her younger years she wants to reserve the right to reach back and grab herself a boy toy if she feels the urge to do so. But let man of meager earnings attempt the same thing and he's labelled all sorts of perverted things.

We guys just sit back and take all of this crap from women. In a previous post, I tackled the issue of who is more honest, men or women. One example I gave was how Anna Nicole hooked up with J. Howard and how rare it is you find a man who would hook up with an octogenarian in a wheelchair and diapers for financial gain. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, but it's easier for a woman to pull off because the great likelihood is Old J. Howard couldn't get it up anyway. But a woman has an opening that is accessible no matter what her age is-so if she's holding the purse strings, you just might have to stick in if you want that brand-new, fire-engine red Ferrarri at the dealership. The thought is repulsive.

I'm at one of those weird places in life that I never considered: I'm on the brink of divorce and the women that I'm physically attracted to have the minds of mush, and the women I am mentally attracted to look like mush-old, wrinkled, mush. And those fading features are a lot easier to stomach when A. you were there when they were in their prime, and B. you had the pleasure (or pain) of watching them fade over the years. But when you're hit with that shit all at once, it's worse than the sticker shock on that brand-new, fire-engine red Ferrarri.

I guess I'll work my way through it, whatever the outcome. The thought of dating at this age is daunting. Who wants to go through that getting to know you stage? I remember the excitement of Friday night and the opportunity to go and meet new chicks, but now I am at the age where, if I don't know you already, I'm not really accepting new applications. And isn't it true that all the good women are all taken at this age? What's left are those women who thought they were too hot to hook up and now find that the their alluring features are beginning to give way to gravity and it won't be long before catching a cold ass naked outdoors in the middle of flu season proves difficult. Or worse yet, those women who could never truly hook up in the first place. Now those you really need to watch out for, because they have a habit of finding a guy and holding him responsible for all of the rejection they experienced in their pasts. Not to mention the fact that they probably blew a lot of dicks in their days just to feel a physical connection. Sometimes I think I think too much.

Whatever happens, I guess at some point I won't give a fuck anymore-and even that frightens me.


The Prince of Know Where?