Yesterday, I Said Goodbye

Sometimes it takes certain situations to wake you to what has been occurring in your life without your knowledge and yesterday I had one such situation. I spend every Sunday with my youngest daughter at her mom's house. From time to time the three of us will do something together-mainly for my daughter. Last Sunday we went to see a movie together and I have to admit that I really enjoyed all of us being together. When I called her yesterday to thank her for the movie, she made a comment that disturbed me. She told me, out of the blue, that she wasn't messing with me while I'm still married. First of all I didn't think that I was attempting to have her mess with me, but let's say that I was. She just recently ended a relationship with a man that was obviously married. Not only did this man spend many of nights with her (in front of my child), he practically embarassed the hell out of her oldest daughter when his oldest daughter found out about the affair. Former high school classmates of her oldest daughter often saw the man at my ex's house, put two and two together and rumors began to fly. It was a source of embarassment for her daughter.

Now I don't knock anyone for having morals but at least be consistent. I learned yesterday that this woman is selfish now, and will always be selfish and that I really have to say goodbye to this person. That is not to say that we can't be cordial and talk, because we are the parents of a very beautiful child. But she is clearly mental and I am glad that I recognized this. I'll admit that the thought of us raising our daughter together has been in the back of my mind. I want nothing more than to see my daughter happy, but this woman is so selfish, I don't think I would ever trust her. After years of sacrifice with her-helping her raise her two daughters while her ex-husband was incarcerated (and he has thanked me on numerous occasions. He wasn't in prison because he was a bad person, he was in prison because he was raised by an awful mother, and she never gave her son the guidance necessary for him to become a productive member of society. He is doing much better now).

I reflected on all of her past and present decisions and I can see how every decision she has made is to benefit her own agenda-and she doesn't care who she hurts in the process. And for her to give me some sort of unsolicited ultimatum, I truly have to keep my distance. I can no longer spend numerous hours at her house visiting my daughter. I don't think it's wise that we all do things together. I'll have to now carefully plan my Sundays so that the day is filled with enough activities to allow us to spend time together without my being at her residence. It's sad, but I had to say goodbye to an old dream that I can no longer afford to keep alive.

RCP