The Mind of Me

This is not my first blog, I had one before but I had negativity mounting a campaign against me therefore I deleted months and months of poeticly profound literature so that I could be free of it all.

Today, I really don't have much to say. I got off work and went to a place to have a drink and I watched the most beautiful hispanic girl that I had ever seen dance to latin music. It was a pleasure to witness. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, and occasionally, she gazed ino my eyes and let me know that she appreciated my attention. Why didn't I just walk over and introduce myself? 2 reasons, #1 I'm African-American and she wasn't (not that that has stopped me in the past) and #2 I'm married (not that that has stopped me in the past). I guess the real reason I didn't was because I am not really open to meeting new people. I didn't want to go through the exchange of phone numbers, the anxiety that is coupled with the contemplation of whether to call, the anticipitory feeling that accompanies the scenario of whether or not she will call. I'm sick and tired of all of that. It no longer excites me. And it's even worse if you're in a relationship because you begin to favor that person over your existing mate, and actully begin to long for her even when you're with the other person. I didn't want to go through that.

I know that I get attached to situtions easily and I know that I would have easily fallen for her. So I chose to admire her from afar. I don't think that there's any harm in that.

Much more later.

Black I