Mr. Softie

I had a conversation with a close friend of mine about my recent posts and apparently I've been accused of becoming soft. Under normal circumstances, I would respond guilty as charged but it's not so much that I'm becoming soft, I've always been in touch with my emotions. I wouldn't be able to write love songs and sing them to a girl as I sit naked in the center of a bed of rose petals, covered only by the body of my guitar if I wasn't soft. I wouldn't be able to hold my 5 year old daughter so lovingly and tenderly and enjoy the caress of her soft hand on my face it I wasn't soft. I wouldn't be able to appreciate the love of my mother if I wasn't soft. I wouldn't be able to bask in the beauty that nature provides us daily in her sunrises, sunsets, and cloudy days (which I love so much because they depress me so beautifully) if I wasn't soft. And finally, I wouldn't be able to hear the voices of my ancestors speaking to me from beyond if I wasn't sensitive or soft.

With that said, those of you who know me well, know that I am no stranger to the bare-knuckle brawl. I earned a reputation in the street as a kid growing up. Although I wasn't feared, I was respected because it was known that I had no intentions of backing down, regardless of your size or your reputation. I was small growing up, but earned a rep as a giant killer. Most of my opponents were bigger, but hand-picked by me, (I picked the opponent I knew I'd have the greatest chance of defeating), and most had lost long before a blow was ever thrown. I would allow my opponent to 'pick at me' just long enough for them to think that I wouldn't retaliate. Once they were comfortable with what they perceived was my acquiescence, I would wait for the next bullying session and unleash a ferocious and unyielding attack. Most of these battles were easily won because my opponent would be caught completely off guard. Once word circulated that I had defeated someone I had no business defeating, the message was clear-I would fight, and I could win. Potential bullies were often discouraged, and I would normally be left alone.

Once there was a teen who had been harassing my younger sister at lunch and she brought it to my attention. I asked that she show me the boy one day and immediately I knew that a battle with him would be one I probably couldn't win. The boy was twice my size. This was a new school and I didn't have the benefit of my reputation. I devised a plan that would guarantee me victory without delivering one blow. This new school was in Orange County, CA and had very few African-American students. All told, there were about 30-50 black males out of a relatively large student body of about 2000. I gathered up 10 of the black students that I associated with daily and detailed my plan.

"There's a kid named Richard who has been harassing my little sister and I need all of you to follow my directions. I guarantee you there won't be any violence."

The 10 of them all agreed to participate. My sister and I then walked over to the bully.

"Are you Richard?" I asked the boy.

"Yeah who are you?" he answered standing up and approaching me.

"I'm her brother and I understand she's been having some problems with you." By now he was standing approximately 2 feet in front of me and he was prepared to do battle. But I then noticed him glance over my right shoulder.

"What are you going to do about it?" he asked but he seemed a bit distracted. I continued to stare directly at him.

"If she has a problem, then I have a problem and I don't particularly care to have problems. One way or another, I find ways to solve them." Richard seemed not to be paying attention to me anymore. His attention seemed to be diverted by what was taking place behind me.

"Excuse me, I'm talking to you." I said.

"Huh?" he responded.

"As I was saying, If I have a problem, I find ways to solve them. Now do we have a problem? I asked him.

"Uh..no. She's cool. I'm not messing with her. I was just joking, right Marian?" His demeanor seemed to change and he became extremely apologetic.

"So am I to understand I won't be hearing anything from her about you anymore?" I asked.

"No. You don't have to worry, Marian and I joke a lot. Right Marian?" Marian remained silent.

"That goes for her friends as well. Do you understand?" I said.

"Hey man, we're cool. No problem." he managed to say.

"Remember, Richard, if she has a problem, we have a problem." I said nodding my head in the direction to my rear, but never taking my eyes off of him.

"Hey, it's cool. I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it." He said offering his hand. Marian and I turned and walked away.

Behind me stood my 6' 1" friend Geoff, and strategically placed behind us stood the remaining nine students. They never spoke or approached, they just stood there-a silent show of force. As Marian and I walked away they filed behind us in an orderly manner and we returned to our lunch area.

"You won't be having any more problems from him, I guarantee you." I told her.

What I had told the other students was to stagger their approach. My sister and I was to approach the boy at first, and then one student would stand several yards back and off to my right. The others were instructed to give 5-10 second counts and to stand exactly where I asked them to behind me. As I finished my conversation with Richard, Geoff, the largest of us all, was to stand directly behind me-a true display of might. We were able to solve my sister's dilemma with only a perceived threat of violence. Had Richard not fallen for my bluff, I would have had a serious brawl on my hands because none of the other students had ever been in a fight before-they would have offered little help.

With those days behind me, I believe I should be afforded the opportunity to be soft in my waning years....wouldn't you agree?

TPOKW?