The Pu**y Hunt

I was on my way home today from a weekend with my youngest daughter and I began to think about the beautiful bond that she and I have. I had deep reservations about becoming a father again, but that was 6 years ago and I have an obligation to be a father to her-no questions asked. But it's not a one-way street, spending time with her is more rewarding to me than words could ever express. But I can't help to think that if I was the pussy hunting type, I might not take my obligation to her so seriously.

Some of the men that I know, and some that I don't but hear in conversation, are truly on the hunt for pussy. I'm not saying that I haven't been in my day, because God knows I've hunted (and captured). But there was always a caveat-if you were someone who proved themselves to be a decent human being, there was always a chance that our encounter could evolve. In fact, some of my casual tryst did evolve into relationships-some of them even long-term. I never looked at a woman as just pussy-I was always prepared to take her in her entirety. I've slammed black women in the past about their present behavior, but it's time to speak to black men. I don't know what came first, the attitude of black women, or us reducing them to just pussy. Who doesn't want to be loved in their entirety? And if pride is to be found in the hit & run, why wouldn't we as a community end up where we are now? Black women raising our children alone. It isn't fair to black women, nor is it fair to our children. And as quiet as it's kept, it's not fair for black men to do this to themselves.

I liken this whole thing to a relay race-once a runner completes his leg, he passes the baton to his teammate and then he runs his leg until the race is complete. But when runners drop the baton, the entire sequence gets out of whack. Now I'm not excluding myself from this chastising. I too am guilty. Seeing my kid on the weekend and during holidays doesn't cut it. I witness the anguish in my daughter every time I walk out that door-she cries and sometimes has to be restrained in order for me to leave. Not only does that hurt me, it has to be destroying her inside. Not only does her mother and I not see eye to eye, we don't even use the same body parts to see. But I would seriously consider reconciling with her for my daughter's sake. I would make that sacrifice-I know it would be a miserable existence, but that would be a suffering I would deserve. My daughter doesn't deserve this pain.

I know I'm breaking ranks by saying this, but we men have to grow up and stop reducing women to just pussy. And we wonder why they walk around with their asses and titties hanging out-that seems to be all that we're interested in. I'm not saying all of us, but we all know that there is a badge of honor bestowed upon the ones that get the most pussy. That is such an adolescent view of manhood and I wish we could do away with it.

I can honestly say that I wasn't on a pussy hunt when my daughter was conceived. I had been in an off and on relationship with her mother for almost 8 years. But if I had a chance to do it all over again, I would have married her the moment she told me that she was pregnant. To hell with whether or not we got along. What happened to the men that manned up when a child was conceived? Back in the day, you dropped out of high school and got to earning a living for your family. I know that opportunities for drop outs are far less these days, but I was a college graduate when my daughter was conceived. If I had a chance to do it all over again, I would do it differently.

To the men out there (and you know who I'm talking about) who stuck by and through all the madness to be a father to your children, I commend you. Those of you who put your petty personal wants and needs aside to be husbands to your wives, parents to your children, and upstanding members of your community-I wish we could bottle and sell whatever it was that kept you in place-even when you felt that you weren't being appreciated by your mate, you stuck it out.

Sometimes I wish I was half the man.

TPOKW