Faking Orgasms

Apparently Missy Elliot and someone by the name of K Michelle (I have no idea who she is) have a song out about faking orgasms-you can check the video below. I've but one thing to say about this (yeah, when have I only had one thing to say about anything?), if you're a woman faking an orgasm, you're only cheating yourself. You're not cheating me-I got mine. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that a man should take care of the woman's sexual needs first, and then go for his, but if your attitude about sex is foul from the beginning, or your initial introduction to sex was not by choice, or was the result of sheer and utter coercion, it might be hard for you to understand the merits of sex.

Furthermore, SOME women have a tendency to bring other issues into the bedroom-which is a complete bastardization of the sexual act in and of itself. Relationship problems should never make their way into the bedroom (unless of course the relationship problem is in the bedroom). I know of women I've dated who knew not to mix the two. They may have been angry about something I said, did, or wouldn't do, but when we hit the sheets and sex was on the menu, they put those issues aside-not away, but aside. They always resurfaced later-but always at a time much more appropriate. These women were 90% of the time orgasmic. Bringing your relationship problems into the bedroom is like going to Disneyland and refusing to ride the rides because Shrek 3 sucked. Uh, hello! Two separate issues!

As many of you already may know, Missy Elliot has been reported to be a lesbian so I don't expect much from her. But from what I understand she's had relationships with guys. In her 1997 release, The Rain, Missy states I break up with him before he dump me. This lyric speaks volumes. From the onset she predicts the relationship will end negatively, so how invested in its success can she be if she's prepared to beat him to the eject the reject button?

I think songs like this send the wrong message to young women. Listening to this style of rhetoric will definitely have a negative effect on how they view sex and interface with the men they become sexually involved with. I'll leave you with this story: many years ago I was in a relationship with a young lady. She would fake orgasms and after I came, she would laugh and reveal that she didn't come. This happened a couple of times until one day I sat her down and explained, "Honey, this isn't a competition. What you're perceiving as victory is really self-defeat. Sex is an act of exchanging pleasure-if you want to play games with it, just know that I can do this without you. Why would you deny yourself the pleasure this act brings? You might as well go watch TV." Afterwards, we began having some extremely amazing sex-and one day, years later, she told me it was me who taught her how to feel like a woman. Not a (self) pat on the back, just a pat on the fact.

Now listen....






Side note-Years ago I watched portions of Missy Elliot's reality TV show (as much as I could stomach) and got the impression she fancies herself a mogul. And I think she's used the casting couch with women a couple of times (though I have no proof to substantiate this belief). In in fact she has, I believe it is because a lot of women believe that this is what powerful men do, and to be equally as powerful, I must assert myself accordingly. I will concede that a lot of men in powerful positions misuse their power. I for one find it extremely loathing and contemptible. Develop a personality and go find a woman who doesn't have to be coerced into a sexual relationship with you. Men who behave in this manner are the lowest life form in my opinion, especially when they stand in the way of someone's hopes and aspirations. A woman's years toiling away in playhouses and college productions shouldn't be discredited by some pig who will only hire those who'll blow him. We the public are often denied the pleasure of true talent because the seasoned actress who worked hard to perfect her craft refuses to degrade herself for a part in a movie. It's a practice I wish I had the power to end.

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