Reflectively Pensive During the Fall

It's fall-a season that carries a lot of meaning for me. When I was a kid, fall was when we returned to school, which was never a happy time for me. Quite frankly, as I child I only liked the summer-you could toss the rest of the year in the trash. Oh wait, and Christmas. As an adult, I had to teach myself to enjoy the entire year and all the pleasantries the four seasons offer.

I remember when I learned to fully embrace fall. I'd just got out of a very turbulent relationship and my newly found freedom brought new and exciting experiences. A new love interest-a new job-exposure to many different cultural activities, I was flying high. The change in temperature was a warm welcome. I found pleasure in layering my clothing, stepping out into the cool night air, and allowing myself to be dazzled by all my new surroundings.

Well once again it's fall and it's a pensive time for me. A lot of new things occurring in my life right now. Some, if I allow them, can make me very depressed but I've been consciously navigating my way through. If I find myself getting down, I don't panic, I just go with the feeling and I allow it to have its time. I think that's the only way we move on-instead of burying our emotions, let them run their course. I also know how to "medicate" those feelings with music.

It seems every time Maxwell comes out with a new CD, I've just ended a relationship. Somehow he always helps me navigate through. So suffice it to say I've been listening to a lot of Maxwell lately. In fact, his very first release, Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite was released when I was going through a major break up. I picked it up and 'Til the Cops Come Knockin' and Reunion helped me put things into perspective. Instead of spending the entire time wallowing in sadness, I began having a few 'Til the Cops Come Knockin' episodes of my own. From what I hear his latest, BLACKsummers'night, has two more releases scheduled: blackSUMMERS'night and blacksummers'NIGHT, I think I'll stay single until he's done. Oct. 16 he'll be at the Hollywood Bowl and I'll be there to check god out.

Well, enjoy the fall everyone. Embrace the changes nature brings. Here in California we're lucky enough not to be fully assaulted by inclimate weather so we should allow it to act as a prop or backdrop in the motion picture of our lives. I have quite a fondness for the fall. The cool air reminds me of loving and being loved; of a hand in hand walk with someone special; of concerts and plays and warm coats. I implore you all to find something special about this time of the year and make it your own.

TPOKW?

*Side Note-I took this photo yesterday on a jetty in Seal Beach at sunset. California has some very beautiful sunsets.

Glenn Beck and The Fema Camps

Immediately after the election of President Barack Obama, Fox 'News' host Glenn Beck began ranting and raving about Fema death camps. Surely Obama couldn't have erected these death camps in the short time he was in office, therefore the death camps must have existed prior to Obama's election to office and Beck must have known about them. The only real objection Beck has is not their existence thereof, but that a democrat (and an African-American one at that) is now in control of the government who would be responsible for filling said camps.

The Lipstick Lesbian and the Dirty Dance.

Last night I was supposed to go out on a date-but I canceled and opted to go see my friend's reggae band play...alone. Why, you ask? Well the woman I was supposed to go out on a date with was supposed to confirm by a certain time but failed to do so. At the last minute she called as though everything was fine. I told her it was kite flying season, gave her the best location to go fly one, and headed out to hear the reggae band.

I arrive at the venue and take a seat next to what I perceive to be 2 guys and a 2 girls. I don't think much of it, just a couple of couple's out to hear some good reggae music. As the evening progresses, the two guys go out on the balcony to smoke, and one is hanging all over the other's ass. I give them the side-eye, but hey, to each his reach right?

Later that evening, one of the 'guys' comes up to my table and introduces 'himself', his name is Rena. Don't know too many guys named Rena. This is about the time I realize Rena isn't a 'guy'. We chat about the band, she tells me they've been at the venue drinking since 6pm (it was 11:30pm) so she was pretty wasted. I tell her the band plays at the Sandpiper on Thursdays, she should check them out. She asks me to write the name down on a napkin and I say, "Sure." Rena comes back with a pen and a napkin and I scribble the name of the club, and some directions along with a map and hand her the napkin. Wait, did the club just see a 'dude' get my phone number? That's EXACTLY what I would have thought had I witnessed such an event-a dude picking up on another dude. I let it go.

Later, Rena, who's now become my favorite stalker fan, comes up and says, "My girlfriend wants to dance with you. Go dance with her." I sit, stunned. The word 'girlfriend' is reverberating around inside my head. After a few beers, I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen drawer so I'm sitting there processing this information....slowly: Now let's see, she looks like dude and dude's have girlfriends...processing... BUT she's not a dude and she has a girlfriend....processing...OH!!....LESBIANS!! Ok then, why does the lipstick lesbian wanna dance with me? This all transpired over the course of about 5 seconds. Rena can no longer wait, she grabs me by the arm and drags me over to her girlfriend, who smiles a drunken I could sure use some dick right now smile and we're off to the dance floor.

The lipstick lesbian (LL) immediately begins the dirty dance. I'm most certainly not feeling this at all. I keep looking over at Rena who pretends to be in deep conversation with whom I'm hoping is a real guy because this evening is turning out to be too bizarre for this old man. I try to create some distance, but LL insists upon sowing her heterosexual oats tonight and I'm the chosen penis. I continue to create distance because #1 she's drunk and #2 I don't want to go mano a mano with Rena over this nonsense. Not that I couldn't take her-one punch and she's on her back counting light fixtures on the ceiling-but who wants things to come to that?

Eventually Rena comes out and begins dancing with the 2 of us...WEIRD!!! I turn my back to them and dancing alone is a blonde woman who'd told me earlier she liked my hair-so I begin dancing with her. This goes on for about a song or two when all of a sudden LL jumps in between the two of us and begins the dirty dance again. Now, I'm really uncomfortable. I'm being made a public spectacle of by a lipstick lesbian who is making it obvious she wants to do the black snake moan. I'm in a quandary, what am I to do? Finally, the band plays a slow reggae song and I make the excuse that I have to go to the bathroom and politely excuse myself. When I come out of the restroom, they're gone and I breathe a sigh of relief. Had they not left, I might have been propositioned and I have to tell you, vomiting wouldn't have been off the list of possibilities. Not that I found them disgusting, but the mere thought that I might have been propositioned to fill some void in a lesbian relationship bothers me.

In many ways I felt sorry for Rena. I know she asked me to dance with her girlfriend to make her happy and I'm sure there's no limit to what she might have allowed to transpire in order to please her. I didn't feel a kinship or camaraderie of any kind with her, I just felt, she being the stud of the two, had to indulge a lot from her girlfriend to keep her. And all the dirty dancing in public with a real man...that seemed like a power play on behalf of LL. It's as though she was saying, "See, at any given moment I can replace you with an original."

Sad.

TPOKW?

And Chris Brown Got How Many Years of Probation?

This is just ridiculous.

How I Survived the Weaponizing of My Children (and What Died in the Process)

I love my kids-all of them. But I don't love them as much as I should; the way a father is supposed to love his children. I can't. I learned that years ago. Who's that scratching their head? I can hear the fingernails raking over the scalp. "What's that you say? You don't love your kids?" No, that's not what I said. What I said is I don't love them as much as I should. But make no mistake, it was a conscious effort on my part-a decision made out of necessity.

Love is a very, very, powerful emotion. It drives people to do some very unacceptable things. It can also motivate people to do very positive things as well-but that's not the focus of this blog entry. In the 80's, my son and I were separated for almost 6 years. His mother took him and disappeared. I've written about it in previous blogs and many of you might have read about it, so you know the story. During the first year of his absence I drowned my pain in alcohol. I don't remember very much during that first year, but I do remember a pain so intense, I wanted to, and probably would have done harm to his mother. Her saving grace was I didn't have a clue where she was. I was close to the brink of insanity and there's no telling what I might have done had I gotten a hold of her. After the first year, I found things to distract me but there was still a burning rage deep inside me. Years later, I decided that I had to put a lid on the love I have for my children. Their mothers could always weaponize that love and use it against me-and boy did they.

I had to make a choice, a very difficult choice. Either I allow the love I have for my children to be used against me in such a way that I could do harmful damage to someone and lose my freedom, or I control the depths of that love. This might be the first time some of you are hearing anything similar to this, but I'm certain there are more men out there who've experienced this same transformation. Imagine being faced with that dilemma-no one said life was easy.

Women who weaponize children and use them against their exes are the worst terrorist of them all. Worse than the 9-11 terrorists? Yes. Allow me to explain: often this type of terrorism goes unreported and in some cases is even sanctioned by local government. The damage is far reaching. It creates a riff between the paternal parent and the children. Eventually he has to let go. He has to put some emotional distance between himself and his children. Perhaps there are alternatives, but I don't know what they are. In my case, I had no way of knowing my son's mother would disappear with him so I was completely unprepared.
Certainly this behavior isn't against the law-it flies below the radar. In fact when the mother of my 2 daughters did the exact same thing (even after knowing my son's mom had pulled this stunt on me), the police department refused to get involved.

We live in a society where men aren't supposed to show their emotions, so many do as I did and suffer in silence or self-medicate themselves with alcohol and other mind/emotion altering substances. Some lash out, but the majority just try to deal with the pain alone. I know that many of the decisions I made after my son was removed from my life were decisions to try and eliminate the pain. It's like being on fire and grabbing anything within reach to try and extinguish it. I got with the wrong woman, made two more children out of wedlock, and just sunk into an even deeper hole. I became the perpetrator to my own victim. Self-destruction wasn't my intent but it was definitely my destination.

The real question now that I've said all of that is just how much do I love my children? Okay, I'll admit the first paragraph was seasoned with a little sensationalism-I do love my children with all of my heart. But there is a room that exists within my emotions that has a door that I open, enter, and close behind me. I become emotionally unavailable to all who attempt to reach me. Behind this door, I feel absolutely nothing (that's not true, I feel safe). I could watch someone die and feel no sympathy for that person-I literally shut down all of my emotions and become numb. I developed this place out of necessity-I had to find a way not to care, otherwise I would behave in an irrational manner that would have surely led to my incarceration.

I don't think fathers should be forced into creating such rooms. They have a profound affect on the children. My daughters all think I'm an emotionless man. I normally stay in the middle. Not getting too angry, not showing much happiness-almost robot-like. Sure, I tell them I love them all the time, but I think they think it's just something dad says because everyone else does.

I've lived in this country practically all my life, and I've had to deal with a myriad of enemies. I've had to deal with employers who were against me; a judicial system that categorizes me by color first; had to struggle for survival every day as an enlisted person in the United States Air Force-and that is no exaggeration. The racism I witnessed and experienced in the Air Force was unbelievably brutal in that the military justice system requires less burden of proof than civilian courts. It's a lot easier to charge and convict a member of the military under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) than it is your average citizen. It was emotionally easier and in some instances, like a chess game, for me to deal with the military racists. They repeatedly attacked, and I successfully defended-every single time. But having to deal with people who are supposed to have a modicum of compassion for you attacking you in places they know you're most vulnerable is far worse. It should be considered a crime.

These women knew that I loved my children unlike I ever loved anything else on the earth-and they weaponized that love and used it against me. And for what? Because I exercised my right to freedom and decided I couldn't be with them anymore? One I left because she was an alcoholic with a tendency to be extremely violent and reckless when drunk. The other I left because she believed a man was someone you tormented, attacked, schemed against. In her own words she once told me, "Men don't feel pain like women-it doesn't hurt you all as much." It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that eventually you're going to have to put some distance between that person and you.

My children and I all have, what I consider, a working relationship. We express love for one another, enjoy spending time together, and experience a genuine warmth towards one another. I smile deep inside and feel so fortunate that I survived those early years and to have come out on the other end still possessing the ability to feel for them-but I know that I keep one hand on that doorknob and at the first sign of trouble, I'm ducking behind that door. I wish it didn't have to be that way, and perhaps one day I'll feel comfortable enough to board up that room, never to enter again and experience the freedom associated with never having to worry about them being used against me again. Wow, this is probably the first time I've thought about it consciously, and what an emotional mess I must be. Many women I've dated say I sometimes become unreachable-and I know that I've used that door with the women in my life as well. And it makes perfect sense to me, but I'm sure they have no idea why all of a sudden a wall is erected and they are on the opposite side of it. I don't know if words are enough to explain it all to them.

Anyway, that's my story and it's sticking to me. If I could find a way to shake it, I'd be telling you an entirely different one. But as it stands, that's the only one I've got to tell.

TPOKW?

Addendum
In writing this entry, I just realized in the process of shutting down emotionally, I killed my own passion-passion for love, for art, for life. There had to be an innocent bystander. My passion became a casualty of the war. I guess I've learned the hard way that we are shaped by our environment and we should choose our environments wisely.

Hemp-It's Time.

In 1990, Hugh Downs of ABC's 20/20, did this report on hemp. Take a listen, this information may shock you.

Faking Orgasms

Apparently Missy Elliot and someone by the name of K Michelle (I have no idea who she is) have a song out about faking orgasms-you can check the video below. I've but one thing to say about this (yeah, when have I only had one thing to say about anything?), if you're a woman faking an orgasm, you're only cheating yourself. You're not cheating me-I got mine. Now don't get me wrong, I believe that a man should take care of the woman's sexual needs first, and then go for his, but if your attitude about sex is foul from the beginning, or your initial introduction to sex was not by choice, or was the result of sheer and utter coercion, it might be hard for you to understand the merits of sex.

Furthermore, SOME women have a tendency to bring other issues into the bedroom-which is a complete bastardization of the sexual act in and of itself. Relationship problems should never make their way into the bedroom (unless of course the relationship problem is in the bedroom). I know of women I've dated who knew not to mix the two. They may have been angry about something I said, did, or wouldn't do, but when we hit the sheets and sex was on the menu, they put those issues aside-not away, but aside. They always resurfaced later-but always at a time much more appropriate. These women were 90% of the time orgasmic. Bringing your relationship problems into the bedroom is like going to Disneyland and refusing to ride the rides because Shrek 3 sucked. Uh, hello! Two separate issues!

As many of you already may know, Missy Elliot has been reported to be a lesbian so I don't expect much from her. But from what I understand she's had relationships with guys. In her 1997 release, The Rain, Missy states I break up with him before he dump me. This lyric speaks volumes. From the onset she predicts the relationship will end negatively, so how invested in its success can she be if she's prepared to beat him to the eject the reject button?

I think songs like this send the wrong message to young women. Listening to this style of rhetoric will definitely have a negative effect on how they view sex and interface with the men they become sexually involved with. I'll leave you with this story: many years ago I was in a relationship with a young lady. She would fake orgasms and after I came, she would laugh and reveal that she didn't come. This happened a couple of times until one day I sat her down and explained, "Honey, this isn't a competition. What you're perceiving as victory is really self-defeat. Sex is an act of exchanging pleasure-if you want to play games with it, just know that I can do this without you. Why would you deny yourself the pleasure this act brings? You might as well go watch TV." Afterwards, we began having some extremely amazing sex-and one day, years later, she told me it was me who taught her how to feel like a woman. Not a (self) pat on the back, just a pat on the fact.

Now listen....






Side note-Years ago I watched portions of Missy Elliot's reality TV show (as much as I could stomach) and got the impression she fancies herself a mogul. And I think she's used the casting couch with women a couple of times (though I have no proof to substantiate this belief). In in fact she has, I believe it is because a lot of women believe that this is what powerful men do, and to be equally as powerful, I must assert myself accordingly. I will concede that a lot of men in powerful positions misuse their power. I for one find it extremely loathing and contemptible. Develop a personality and go find a woman who doesn't have to be coerced into a sexual relationship with you. Men who behave in this manner are the lowest life form in my opinion, especially when they stand in the way of someone's hopes and aspirations. A woman's years toiling away in playhouses and college productions shouldn't be discredited by some pig who will only hire those who'll blow him. We the public are often denied the pleasure of true talent because the seasoned actress who worked hard to perfect her craft refuses to degrade herself for a part in a movie. It's a practice I wish I had the power to end.

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OK, This Is Funny!

I'm sure the world has seen the footage of Kanye West's brash interruption of Taylor Swift at the VMA Awards the other night. Rumor has it that Barrack Obama has unofficially called KW a 'jackass'...I concur.

Someone spoofed Kanye and Barrack and I thought this was hilarious so I'm sharing it with those of you who follow me.

Enjoy!

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Tired

Last night while relaxing at a bar I saw the footage of what appeared to be an outburst by Serena Williams during her match at the U.S. Open in Flushing Meadows, New York. This morning I awake to find that, because of a foot fault call made by a line judge, Serena became angry and was ultimately eliminated from the match, an elimination that was quite a costly one.

Some of the comments made by rank and file Americans on sites like AOL.com and youtube are quite disturbing.


jakegorospe1980 said: pure criminal.. just a classic ghetto bad ass attitude.. the sort of thing that puts majority of black amerficans straight to jail. they dont think, they just act naturally like a criminal.


hateyou79 said: She is just mad that a white girl beat that monkey ass. Fuck that ugly ass nigger. Tennis is a white persons sport. Go play basketball or something.

While Car3radio eloquently opined: Just a IGNORANY "APE"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess they've all forgotten John McEnroe's vicious outbursts.

I read these comments and wonder why I'm still in this country. Why many of us are still here. When will we learn that we'll never be accepted as citizens. We fight in wars we don't start, with people who've done nothing to us, for people who hate us. Like Muhammad Ali once said, "No Viet Cong ever called me Nigger." We're patriotic. We pay taxes and many of us, despite what is depicted by the media, do our best to be law abiding citizens.

The message is loud in clear to me, as it was to Marvelous Marvin Hagler many years ago. Many of you may remember after Marvin was defeated by Sugar Ray Leonard, he felt that because he was from the streets and Leonard was the All-American Olympic Gold medal winner, he was unfairly denied the victory. Marvin immediately left the sport of boxing and the country and hasn't lived here since. He moved to Italy, started acting and last I heard was a very happy man.

I was watching a documentary the other day about a woman from England whose son was murdered by a woman he was dating. What stuck with me about the story was the fact that as a young woman she had planned to go to different countries across the globe to work. Her first stop was Australia, then she came to America, after which she planned moving on to South America. What was so profound to me was this woman never felt as though she wouldn't be welcome globally. I feel unwelcome in neighborhoods, restaurants, shopping malls etc. RIGHT HERE IN WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE MY OWN COUNTRY! I began to wonder what it would be like to feel as though you are welcome every where you go. I'm sure she would be shocked if someone treated her as though she wasn't welcome-I'm surprised when I'm welcomed.

This type of silent but deadly mental pressure is taking its toll on me and I can no longer ignore it. When in the military during my tour of duty in Spain, I sometimes felt the uneasy stares from Spanish nationals, but I expected it from them, I was a foreigner in their country. But I was also able to travel many places alone where white G.I.'s could not go without being attacked. I don't know if it was a fear they had of me, or if it was because they understood our history as Americans better than most of us do. Suffice it to say, I felt more welcome in that country than I ever did here in this one.

African Americans have been fighting and dying for this country since its inception. We've been pioneers in medicine, technology, literature, art, sports, education and it all pretty much goes unnoticed. Many Americans (white and black) have no idea that Charles Drew researched in the field of blood transfusions, developing improved techniques for blood storage, and applied his expert knowledge in developing large-scale blood banks early in World War II, saving thousands of lives of the Allied forces, only to die in a car accident because he wasn't allowed access in a local whites only hospital. And then there's Garrett Morgan who originated a respiratory protective hood (similar to the modern gas masks), invented a hair-straightening preparation, and patented a type of traffic signal. He is renowned for a heroic rescue in which he used his hood to save workers trapped in a tunnel system filled with fumes.

I could go on about the many African-Americans inventors whose inventions improved and or saved the lives of many U.S. citizens only to have their inventions stolen, or their names and contributions omitted frm the pages of history. And let's not forget that many of our ancestors labored and toiled in this country and gave it a great financial foundation-a foundation that has provided many a U.S. citizen a comfortable lifestyle-while we are denied the right to be treated equally even to this day. Immigrants come to this country and are more welcome than we are. And they come knowing exactly who's the lowest on the social totem pole.

I was tired when I was in junior high school so you can probably imagine how exhausted I am now. I can read the writing on the wall-we're just not going to be accepted. We'll always be considered second class citizens no matter what station in life we achieve. If you don't believe me look at how they've treated President Obama. I can't speak for the rest of those who share my skin pigmentation and who have also shared my experience here in this country, but this second class citizen is done. If I'm treated as a second class citizen in another country it's to be expected-it's justified, I would be a foreigner. But here, in a country where I've served in the military, paid my taxes like everyone else, abided by the laws and tried to conduct myself as a model citizen, I can't take it any longer. I have to find a way out.

During the civil rights struggles of the 60's, after Rosa Parks was arrested for not giving her seat to a white man...(a white man...come on), a bus boycott was organized in Montgomery Alabama. Blacks came together and created carpools to ferry one another back and forth. It wasn't long before the city of Montgomery began to miss the financial contributions of its black citizenry. It became evident to many white males that their jobs were in jeopardy and they began trying to disrupt the carpools and force blacks to use the bus system. But black people in Montgomery were strong. I want you to notice that I didn't write we were strong. Those black people did their part and fought their fight. The rest of us have to do ours. We can't sit back and ride the coat tails of people on the front line and claim their victories. And they shouldn't have to drag the rest of us along-we all need to do our part.

Eventually the Jim Crow laws that mandated blacks stand when whites boarded buses were rescinded and the black citizens returned to using the bus system-which in my opinion was a terrible mistake. We should have never gone back. We should have allowed the public system to fail. That's always been our problem-we always give up the fight once we are given that which we should have had all along. I may not claim their victories but I will most certainly claim their defeats. We should have pooled our money together started our own busing system and never looked back. We should have stayed in our own neighborhoods, frequented our own restaurants, shopped at our own stores and kept our money in our communities which would have created jobs for our people-but we're too busy trying to be a part of a system that will NEVER accept us as equals.

I know that there are whites here who see us as citizens. But many of them refuse to stand against the system-and in some ways I don't blame them. It's not their fight, it's ours. And if we don't do anything about it, why should they? I don't advocate we go toe-to-toe with this system, that would be the equivalent of me climbing into the boxing ring with Mike Tyson in his hey-day. If blacks are going to remain in this country we should take a page from our history and silently disappear (like we did from those Montgomery buses). This disappearance might be welcomed by many white Americans...at first. But when they begin to miss the $750 billion dollars that we spend annually, someone is going to wonder what happened. When businesses begin to close and people begin to get laid off, the impact will be felt. I say we should disappear, never to return and the money we generate and disseminate into this economy should be spent amongst ourselves. The Jews, the Chinese, the Indians (native and Asian), all support their own little enclaves. Why just the other day I saw a sign on the side of the freeway that read Filipinotown.

What I do know is that I a man on an island. I don't think we as a people will ever open our eyes long enough to understand what we need to do to better our situation here in this country, and as I mentioned before, I'm tired. I'm 46 and I'm tired. Tired of having to make deliberate movements when I'm pulled over by the police so I'm not shot for reaching for a weapon that I don't own. Tired of ignoring the prying eyes that follow me around the department stores. Tired of ignoring the fact that I've been paid less than whites doing the exact same job I was doing, (I was once paid less than a worker I was supervising). Tired of being the poster boy for crime in this country. Tired of seeing my image being negatively portrayed in the media. Tired of white women clutching their purses or locking their car doors when I walk by. Tired of calling about the availability for an apartment and when I show up being told that they have none available. Tired of being afraid to go to a doctor because of what was done to black men and women during the Tuskegee experiment. Tired of watching black men just like me crumble under the pressures that I experience everyday and knowing that each day it's a struggle for me to put on that happy face and go out into a world that I know hates to see me coming. Tired of black women joining the ranks of those who wish me ill-will and further damaging me. Tired, tired, tired. I know people who read this are going to say I sound like a victim-spend a lifetime in my shoes and then talk to me. I know some women are going to read this say you're a weak man and my response to that is if that was true, I'd have been dead a long time ago.

Serena, sadly you'll never be nothing but a nigger in the eyes of most Americans...and I really don't know what a nigger is. But what ever it is, that's who they say we are and me personally, I'm tired of others defining me, or having to redefine myself every time I interface with Americans. I have many things in this life to be thankful for-but I want to feel like the British woman who, at the very core of her being, knows she's welcome anywhere she goes in the world. I want to be able walk into a public establishment and have it feel like Cheers, where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. I don't know of any place like that here. So I have to find a way to leave America and find some place like that somewhere else.

Signed,

Just Plain Tired.

:-(

A Prediction

It won't be long, but mark my word, sometime in the near future whites will declare themselves a minority class in America. You'll then see how a system designed to benefit a repressed class of minorities is really supposed work.

You can say you read it first here.

TPOKW?

The Perils of Barack Obama

Man, I like Barack Obama. I really do. I think he's an intelligent human being. But as president, I have to say he has absolutely no power. Last night while giving a speech on Capitol Hill, Republican Joe Wilson's accusatory outburst demonstrated the respect Americans have for the man. For reasons I don't agree with, people feared Dubya. When Joe Wilson (no relation to the aforementioned Republican congressman) reported that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction and went against the Bush administration's position, his wife was outed as a CIA spy. Now I don't agree with what I considered then, and consider to this day, an act of treason, but publicly no one stood up to Bush and his war hawks. I don't believe anyone should be controlled by fear, but the highest office in the United States deserves respect, regardless of who occupies the office and rude, accusatory outbursts on the House floor while the president gives a speech demonstrates a lack of respect for the institution of government.

Everything Obama does is subjected to the highest form of scrutiny. Policies designed to improve the lives of American citizens are labeled socialist. There's no question the source of America's uneasiness lies in the color of Obama's skin. America has a negative image of the black male in their minds and having one, even though he doesn't have the blood of former slaves coursing through his veins, occupying the highest office in the land is unbearable.

Here's a secret I think many white people know, but many black people don't. Most white people understand that there is a caste system in this nation. It has always existed and extends as far back as America's association with indentured servants. Many immigrants, both black and white, came to this country as indentured servants. But the indentured servants began to outnumber the ruling class and something had to be done to separate them. White indentured servants were assigned overseer duties and ruled over the darker servants. And while blacks in this country walk around thinking we're all equal, non-ruling whites know that the system grants them privilege and know better than to bite the hand that feeds them. Theoretically, Barack Obama poses a direct threat to that privilege. Whites fear he'll redistribute the wealth (read-transfer it from whites to blacks and minorities).

If you doubt historically there are/were systems in this country that favored whites, google discrimination in housing, hiring, etc. and do the research for yourself. Discrimination in housing, justice, employment, education, and access to health care are all examples of a system designed by whites for whites.

Barack Obama strikes fear in the hearts of those Americans who understand that they have benefited from a system that, through policies of discrimination, slowed the overall development of minorities in this country, and they fear a reversal of fortune. But let's be real-what is it that they really fear? Is it the fear of competing with an opponent on a level playing field? Could this nation as a whole and whites in particular have benefited so greatly if it not for the contribution made by slaves and the restrictive and regressive institutional policies of Jim Crow that afforded whites unfettered access to higher institutes of learning, jobs, land ownership, etc.? This is a question many white Americans should ask themselves. Blacks faced roadblocks every direction they turned. Those who managed to acquire wealth always ran the risk of being lynched, burned out, arrested on trumped up charges and incarcerated indefinitely. On July 30, 2008 America took it upon herself to officially apologize for slavery and the subsequent Jim Crow policies. Each white American should, as a part of their atonement, let black Americans know that they truly recognize and appreciate the involuntary sacrifices of our ancestors. It would go a long way in healing this nation.

The rank and file Blacks of this nation expect absolutely nothing from Barack Obama-politically, socially, economically, or otherwise (in fact, blacks didn't take his candidacy serious until he won a major race in the primaries indicating support from whites). We know that it would be political suicide for him to direct as little as $1 of tax payer proceeds to programs benefiting the black community. You think he's labeled a racist now? Let white Americans dream Obama's helping the black community with their taxpayer dollars and he'll be a lame duck before his first year in office is completed.

I admire the fact that Obama stands fast in the face of a lot of necessary opposition-and let me explain why I say necessary opposition. This country's political system was designed so that citizens and lawmakers would have a tough row to hoe enacting laws and instituting policy. In my estimation the system is once again working in the manner it was designed. The question of the day is why is it now functioning properly? I'll answer that-because white Americans fear Barack Obama and it is out of this fear they are paying attention to his every move,(something we should have been doing all along). Had we been this attentive during the Clinton and Bush administrations, we probably wouldn't be faced with the current *economic crisis, and we wouldn't be fighting two wars, the cost of which will take us a couple of generations to repay. Obama has caused the nation to once again pay attention to politics and policy. Sure, we may be out of touch with the proper political decorum, but Americans have once again focused their attention on Washington and I hope we maintain that focus for generations to come.

History will most likely be kind to Obama. As a leader, he's only as effective as the people he leads and if Americans continue to scream SOCIALIST every time he proposes a




*During the Clinton administration restrictions governing Wall Street were lifted triggering the sub prime mortgage crisis and the destructive era of predatory lending and credit default swaps.