Is Polygamy the Answer to Europe's Declining Birthrate?

Last night a close friend of mine and I were out on my private balcony (mine until I move on the 1st of August-I'll miss it) and we were talking about the declining birthrate that is plaguing Europe. I know this might be news to most of you, but scientist, as early as the 80's predicted that by the year 2000 Europe would begin to experience what's called a Birth/Dearth (a birth for every death). The United Nations

click here to read the report

held a conference in the year 2000 detailing about 7 countries (including the U.S. and Canada) that were on the list and how immigration would have to be beefed up in order to meet the demanding needs of manpower to keep the countries running.

The European birthrate has been declining for decades and, according to scientists, they've dipped dangerously close to unreplenishing levels (in other words no matter what they do, they won't be able to stem the declining numbers and they'll continue to plummet until the inevitable occurs). While discussing this, it occurred to me that monogamy might be a contributing factor to this decline. I'm about to go out on a tangent here but if you stay with me, my logic will eventuallly make sense. When a man ejaculates, he releases millions of sperm. It was once believed that those sperm were competing for the opportunity to fertilize the one female egg, but scientist have determined that isn't the actual role of all sperm. Some are there to fight bacteria that may exist in the womb; others have duties that may have nothing to do with fertilizing the egg but are essential to the reproduction process. What does all of this have to do with polygamy? Patience my patients.

Just like sperm, not every male (and female for that matter) is designed to reproduce. If nature had her way, only the strongest would procreate meaning the weakest genes would be eliminated and what you'd have left are the best that humans can produce. Nowadays even the mentally challenged are allowed to reproduce. I know this sounds really close to my advocating a Eugenics program and in a way, I guess that I am-but it's nature's version of Eugenics, (and no one can do it better than she can).

Now to polygamy (and I thank you for your patience). The beauty of polygamy is only the alpha males are going to be able to reproduce. That could very well mean the physically superior, or it could mean a combination of both the physcally and mentally superior; nature has a weird way of sorting this thing out. We all know that it requires a certain level of intelligence to survive in the wild. If you're the type of animal that doesn't pay attention to your surroundings, you've just become some other animal's dinner. Away you go, along with your failure-to-pay-attention dumb gene. When born in the wild, if you don't get on your feet and sprint like your life depended on it (because in the wild it does) you're a fresh snack for some predator-and your weak gene has relegated you to the lower end of the food chain.

I know I haven't really packaged this as neatly as I could have, but I'm definetly no scholar-I'm just an (above) average joe with a blog. What I'm trying to say is monogamy means practically everyone gets a mate and weak genes are propagated at an alarming rate. Not to mention the fact that we create laws which protect idiots from there own idiocy. If you can't figure out how to cross the street without getting hit, that shouldn't be the fault of the guy who's on his way home from work, doing the speed limit and you happen to run out in front of him. Not only will he be penalized in some fashion, he may now be hit with civil suit. Your dumb gene needed to be eliminated. But I digress. Polygamy means the strongest will reproduce. And the alpha male will attract the best of the best to procreate with.

Those of you who know me know that I have a lazy right eye. An official Eugenics program would have mandated I be sterilized or worse yet, put to death. So I think you know I wouldn't advocate an institution that would in some way harm me. This is why I am against Eugenics when man has a say. I am, however, an advocate of nature's Eugenics program. This program very well means that I might have been relegated to the non-reproductive bunch-but then again nature blessed me with many talents so I doubt it very seriously.

If they are die-hards against polygamy then I have another suggestion-have all of the fertile white women inter-breed with those who have stronger genes. What's that I smell? Fire? Is someone burning an effigy of me? You guys-surely you jest! Bu seriously, how different is that from corporate mergers and acquisitions?

Anyway, I know I'm going to get flame-torched for this post, but I'm just trying to help Europe with her problem, that's all.


TPOKW?

Jamie Cullum!!!!

Alright, I know I'm a little too old to be going gaga over a celebrity, but I'm a HUGE Jamie Cullum fan. If you're not familiar with him, he's a diminutive Brit that has successfully taken almost all genre's of music and made them his own. Yes, the pale-skin Brit has even done a hip-hop cover...brilliantly. Google him and step into his world. I guarantee it won't be easy to walk away. Last Friday I saw him live for the first time and I'll be damned if he wasn't GREAT! He was at the Hollywood Bowl and I've been awaiting this performance since February of this year.

I was at work one day last year and a new coworker attempting to score points with the boss (me) passed me his DVD. He said that he was a jazz artist. Ok, I have to admit that I was a tad bit skeptical. Not to say that white guys can't do jazz-hell, these days, white guys can even jump. But after what Elvis did to Rock and Roll and blacks, I have a sore spot when it comes to white crossover artist (Eminem excluded).

Admittedly, I babysat the DVD for about 4 weeks. One Saturday I had some free time so I figured I'd give a cursory glance just to say that I looked at it, and return it on Monday with one of those courtesy responses: Yeah I watched it...He's good!. But Jamie Cullum had prepared all his life for musically racist skeptics like me. I grabbed my laptop, plugged in my portable surround sound speaker system, put the laptop on my portable stand, grabbed a seat, sparked a bowl and pressed play. What happened next was somewhat of a mystery. Jamie took the stage and began singing acapella. Jazz singing simply doesn't sound good acapella and my suspicions about this guy were confirmed...or so I thought. Then he sat down at the piano and began ripping the damn keys up! I sat back in my comfy chair and stared at the screen as though Beyonce had just proposed. After a brief musical interlude, he began singing again and it all came together.

After the track was over, I sat nodding my head saying "Ok, ok..what you got next?" Well next, he did a cover of Pharrell William's Frontin', a hip-hop track that, at first I didn't recognize all jazzed up, but once I caught on, man, I'd been bitten. This guy did a beautiful rendition of the song.

As the DVD progressed it got better and better. With the surround sound and the haze, it was like I was right there at Blenheim Palace in England with him. He did one song titled, "Why Do Today What You Can Dooooo Tomorrow, and as a musician, I can pretty much predict where a songs going. This song took me on a journey that I will never forget! This song is a must-hear for anyone who loves music! This artist is just phenomenal. He plays several instruments and is just amazing to watch.

Halfway through I got the munchies and decided to pause the DVD to satiate my appetite and call my coworker to let him know that he'd just turned me into the president of the Jamie Cullum fan club. I don't want to bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say that I've watched that DVD probably 1000 times already. I've purchased 6 copies to date (1 for myself, 4 for relatives and friends, and the last copy I purchased Friday night so that I could have it autographed by the wunderkind).

My youngest daughter, Alexis, is a huge fan at 6 so Friday night she accompanied me to the concert. Afterwards, we jumped in the autograph line and waited patiently to shake Jamie's hand and get his autograph. When it was our turn, I told him that Lexi knew all the words to All at Sea and she could sing a few bars if he wanted but Lexi sold me out. She ducked behind my legs and buried her face in my pants. Jamie got a kick out of that.

My birthday is this coming Friday and that concert was my gift to myself and I enjoyed every minute of the experience. I started to go back on Saturday but I figured I would wait until he returned and performed without the LA Philharmonic. Even though the performance was brilliant, I want to see him perform with Sebastian de Krom (drums) and Geoff Gascone (bass).

Do yourself a favor (and Jamie), check out this guy. I guarantee you won't be disappointed. Get comfortable, pour yourself a glass of wine (or whatever mind-altering substance you prefer), get your significant other to join you, pop in the Live at Blenheim Palace DVD and enjoy the ride!

Prince

A Cockroach Killed My Coffee Cup

I work in a warehouse with office space upstairs and if you know anything about warehouses, they harbor critters. Regardless of what you do, they'll make your space a refuge. Fortunately, they don't care to climb stairs so I've never seen any in my office. This morning I came in to work and began my ritual of checking and respoonding to email, processing my orders, and finally going downstairs to prepare my standard breakfast of oatmeal, fresh fruit, and coffee. Normally, I leave my coffee cup upstairs, but Friday I was in such a rush, I left it in the break room with about a quarter cup of coffee in it (I know, gross but like I said, I was in a rush).

Well this morning I went downstairs, and picked up my coffee cup, looked inside and submerged in my cup was a 1.5 inch long cockroach (no I didn't measure him-it's an estimate). Needless to say, I dry-heaved for about 10 seconds. After involuntarily attempting to empty the contents of my stomach, I went into the restroom and gave the java-loving critter a ceremonious burial at-sea (i.e. I flushed his nasty ass down the toilet). To my surprise, he was still alive! He began a frantic version of the cockroach breast stroke, but to no avail-the powerful suction of gravity whisked him away. I stood and watched him (or her-I have no way of identifying the sex of insects. Furthermore, you all should be deeply concerned about someone who does), as he/she struggled to keep from being sucked into the abyss.

Afterwards, I put the cup in the sink (notice how it's no longer my cup?), and ran hot water in it for about 30 seconds and then I came to the realization that, no matter how I much I wash it, every time I put the cup up to my lips for a sip, I'm going to see that partially submerged cockroach with it's spindly legs. I decided to throw it in the trash.

Today, I learned two lessons:

Lesson#1-From now on, my coffee cup will be washed and stored upstairs, and

Lesson#2-Cockroaches love coffee. So if you work in a warehouse connected to other warehouses, the great likelihood is that a cockroach has taken a bath in your partially filled coffee cup. Ok, I know that wasn't fair, but I don't want to be the only one.

P.S. The coffee was medium roast with hazelnut creamer just in case any of you were wondering.

Prince